Man With a Movie Camera

One man's journey through a BFA in Film program

Friday, March 31, 2006

The New Folk

Props to Dave B. for introducing me to Sufjan, and props to Henning for making me fall in love with his music.


A quotation from Sufjan that's really inspiring:

"I do have to reckon with the material I'm singing about.And I want to be responsible for what I'm singing about. But I can't be responsible for an entire culture, or an entire church. I can't be responsible for Christendom. I think that when people react reflexively to material that is religious, they're reacting to the culture of religion. And I think an enlightened person is capable, on some level, of making the distinction between the institution of the culture and the culture itself."

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Brokeback

No, I haven't seen this movie yet. So forgive me for that. But needless to say, I've been left pondering it quite a bit. I came across a review of the film on the net, that is a Christian review, but luckily not one of a blind Christianity.

The responses to it were equally if not more insightful:

_______________________
This one, from a non Christian:

"I just wanted to complement you on a great review of Brokeback Mountain. I just saw it last night, enjoyed it very much on many levels, and came away with thoughts similar to those in your review. Mind you, as a heterosexual male, I have absolutely no issue with homosexuality (or, what was actually portrayed in the movie, bisexuality), and am decidedly not a Christian. But the theme I kept seeing in the movie was one indeed of two folks abdicating their responsibility for their actions. Societal or theological rules aside, they had promised certain things to real people in their lives (their wives and children), and just ignored them to their detriment."

_______________________
This one from Christian:

"Hats off for an insightful, balanced and accurate review.

I went to see Brokeback Mountain with a dear friend [of many years] yesterday. I am a proud father and the grateful husband of my best friend. [Personal details deleted.] At age 18, I embraced Christ and with much difficulty rejected homosexuality. I had actively and exclusively identified as such since age 11. To my disappointment, the struggle with homosexual desire has been constant, with varying degrees of intensity, since my conversion and I have come to accept that it is something I will have to contend with the rest of my life. With God's help, I have never been nor, never will be, unfaithful to my wife or to my Lord.

Having said that, I was alternately apprehensive about seeing the film for fear of needlessly enflaming unwanted passions and, intensely curious about the true nature of it. Though promoted as a love story, I was surprised to find myself thinking it entirely implausible that one could tell a story of gay love that was not really about gay sex.

As a sometime political and social activist I am very familiar with the positions staked out by both sides in the gay debate. While working to retain Biblical standards in law and social mores, I have also sought to be truly empathetic, respectful and compassionate towards those (of us) who, for a multitude of reasons, live with homosexual tendencies.

I am a strong advocate of deep, meaningful, intimate, lifelong relationships between members of the same sex. Some of my favorite verses speak of "bowels of affection and compassion" and being "kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love." Due to what appears to be our design, they bring us healing, wholeness and a strong base from which to live, give and lead healthy lives.

Hence, my ultimate decision to see the film to evaluate for myself whether this story is really one of love or sex. While I welcomed the idea of a story of two men truly loving and being committed to each other over a lifetime I doubted the love, and the relationship, would stand on its own if the sex were removed. I was, unfortunately, as you so aptly pointed out, right.

Thankfully, as I have grown older I have come to understand that the love that satisfies; that fulfills our need for commitment, trust, faithfulness, honesty and friendship; is the essence of our relationship with God and His desire for us concerning our relationships with each other. For love to lead to physical intimacy the relationship must be legitimate and God alone, as our Creator and Sustainer, has the authority and right to define the term: one man, one woman, in covenant.

Like it or not, fully understand or agree with it or not, the terms of true love are clear and to reject them is to reject God. To reject God, regardless of the reason, is to reject His love for us and any hope of living beyond our short-sighted, self-serving, and ultimately self-destructive desires. To reject God is to settle for something other than love.

Real love always involves cost, dying to self, indeed, sacrifice, as Jesus clearly demonstrated. Whether one considers him or herself heterosexual or homosexual, the pursuit of real love will always involve the need to lay down one's selfish impulses in favor of what could be called purity, holiness or righteousness. Heterosexual and homosexual individuals, families, and communities across time and space have suffered the consequences associated with insisting on following one's own way, of forming one's own truth.

Ennis and Jake's story left me feeling sad. I laughed at their innocence and cried at their loss. In the end, it was not loss of love denied that made my heart ache but the choices they made. Tragically, almost unbelievably, they consistently chose sex over love, physical gratification over commitment, lust over friendship. In their wake they left abused spouses, neglected children, and, each other.

I felt their pain and anguish, the grief and torment associated with not being able to have what they wanted. Resisting temptation and dying to our self is painful. However, a tolerant society would not have solved their problem. We, all, regardless of our particular state of denial must deal with the reality of God; the betrayal and shallowness associated with giving in to temptation. Love is painful, it is costly, but it is so worth it.

At any point, Ennis and Jake could have chosen relationship over forbidden sexual interests. Sadly, they did not. Rather, they traded a handful of exciting, sex-driven fishing trips for what could have been a lifetime of love, mutual support, companionship and genuine friendship. Therein lies the true tragedy of Ennis and Jake.

I am no film critic but I was pleasantly surprised at what a beautiful movie it was. I found the characters, storyline and settings compelling and never felt that I had to suspend reality to keep pace with it. I am guessing this might mean that the script, acting, cinematography, etc was of a high quality. Though the film has an obvious message and agenda, it is filled with complexities and subtleties that leave room for analysis and appreciation whether or not you agree with it or not. [Spoilers deleted.]
Jeffrey, I appreciate this opportunity to put in writing some of my thoughts regarding Brokeback. When I decided to seek out a review of the film from a self-described Christian perspective I was a little afraid. I was still sorting out some of my thoughts and feelings about the film and did not want to be influenced by those who are under or overly critical of it. Yours was the first I decided to read and was very satisfied to find that my conclusions were shared by another.

Brokeback is definitely a film that leaves one moved on an emotional level and somewhat challenged, intellectually and spiritually. I am relieved to find that though it provided ample reminder of who I was and could be, the film did not provide fodder for fruitless fantasies but rather strengthened my resolve to live a life of love, commitment and honor for my wife, family, friends, my God, and even, myself.

Some say that Brokeback is being touted as a potential award winner solely due to its subject matter. Having seen the film I suspect that many of its detractors oppose it for the same reason. If political supporters and critics are taken out of the equation I see no reason why it should not be in the running. It is a quality film and deserves to be judged on its merits."

_______________________

{I don't mean to grant the Christian man's response more 'word space' but his was much longer)

Again, I haven't seen the movie, so it's mostly unfair for me to comment. But in general, I can respect what's being said here. I have serious issues with films portraying sex (be it homo or hetero) and lust as a respectible alternative to love and commitment. Having experienced this ideal mess up my own life in many respects, and watched it do the same to others, my response is simply, "Why are we lauding this?"

I used to think that Christianity and the Christian life was easy, becuase I was falsely prommised an immediate change in the desires of my heart. But I realize that this is a process. A long process by which we are set free from ourselves, and our desires. People (myself) believe we are in control of ourselves and have this freedom, but everywhere we are in chains to our own desires, be that material, sexual, or otherwise.

The second greatest promise of Jesus seems to be the one we all miss. FREEDOM. He says he'll do it, and though I didn't believe him for a long time, he's proving it to me daily. And really, from one who is tired of false Christian promises, this one is the real deal. It's a joy unlike anything else.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Lost in the cloud

So this is more about Kaite's experience than mine, but it's confirming to know that God is still around and doing things. In fact, rather amazing things.

She and a friend had some honesty. They shared some real things, and talked to God in conversation, not in a hyper-spiritual false reality. Being honest with themselves and with God, they were both able to experience healing of a very real and practical sort.

Speaking words can sometimes be difficult, especially ones about ourselves. And when we have to speak truths about our shortcomings and sordid pasts, it can be nearly impossible to the point where most people may never do it. If we 'SAY' the words, then it solidifies the reality of situations that we don't want as part of our history. I've been through this, and still hold things within me that I just don't want to say for fear of it being true and part of my history (which it already is).

Now certianly this isn't a forum for such things, and I don't want to make this about me in any way.

It IS about God, and the fact that He is willing to meet us and HEAL us where we are, and cut through messiness and embrace us becuase he's already taken care of our messy lives. We just need to accept that now. Which on many issues, I just don't.

I was also reading in Isaiah last night about people who change bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter, and was reminded at how often I end up doing crap and thinking it's good. I need to take account of my actions and see which ones are actually making me wholly satisfied, and not just 'joy for the moment' or be sure that it isn't a mask of happiness I'm wearing to hold on to certain things. Tough business. One day I might figure it out.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

6 hours in the TTC

Today was the final film shoot of the year for me (save possible re-shoots)!

That meant going down into the subway at 9:30, and not re-emerging till 4. I enjoyed this shoot becuase we actually put a lot of effort into it. It's not easy to get permission to shoot on the subway platforms, let alone on the cars. So we had to organzie ourselves well (and Ai Rei get's all the props for that). So our film made it through the cameras, no breakage, no bad looping, no lens problems. Those were my biggest concerns.

Today I learned about bezier curves on wikipedia. We're doing Illustrator in class. The wiki article was rather daunting, as it contained a lot of numbers. I didn't realize it was quite so mathematical. Engineers probably have to know this stuff, and that's exactly why I'm not an engineer. I just need to know if the curve is nice to look at. And we both end up with university degrees! How neat is that?

Today's word is:

casus belli
-An action or event that causes or is used to justify starting a war.

"9/11 was America creating it's own casus belli"

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Face the sky

Some pictures looking 'up'

The Gugenhiem

The Art Gallery of Ontario

Tall NY buildings

Monday, March 13, 2006

About the president of ICACP

Carlo Raponi, in his own words:

"Raised in a cave close to the center of the earth by Troll Martian Elvis impersonators, I escaped and made my way to the surface using nothing more than a spoon and a hi-liter. Once arrived in the warm sun, so familiar to crust wandering bipeds, I was adopted by evangelical ninja wolves and taught the ways of Jesus. Happy, elated and overjoyed at salvation, I decided to let others in on this secret; thus leading me to my present position as Assistant Director for a youth center run by Kawartha Youth for Christ. I am also a chaplain in an open custody facility for young offenders and president of ICACP - the International Coalition for Amalgamation of Cotton and Polyester."

La vie est belle, mais douloureuse!

douloureuse=painful

Let me just say that the cost of one of lifes more beautiful evenings is two of lifes more painful blisters.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

La vie est belle

"Riley is a great guy. He is 18 years old, and his life stretches out before him like an open road—a road he can’t wait to travel. But Riley sees this road disappearing behind a grove of trees just a few hundred yards up ahead. Where it’s heading, he has no idea. How many side roads and where those roads may take him—he hasn’t a clue. In fact, that’s the beauty of it. An infinite number of choices, an infinite number of destinations. Only God knows where his course will lead. Riley has the strong conviction that to choose a single road would be to limit God (and himself) from all other possibilities. He would much rather keep his options open. Wide open."

From here.

I read this and thought it was rather beautiful. I'm using the word beautiful a lot more these days. Hope it isn't annoying anyone, just I'm starting to get a better hold on life's beauty.

Jon and I went to Toronto Island today and walked along the boardwalk, then watched the sun set, got threatened by a duck and had to hop a fence. Then we found a swing set in the middle of nowhere, and went on it as the last little bit of light faded from the day.

I had plans to write an essay today, but I'm rather happy with what I got.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Soemtimes in April

People should see this film.

It deals with the Rwandan Genocide (which I'm currently doing a paper on, hence the reason I picked it up in the first place). What I like about it is its lack of a central hero figure. This isn't the Schindlers List of Africa. This deals with two Hutu brothers, one who incites hatered through his radio program, the other who is married to a Tutsi woman, but is part of the militia.

As a warning, this movie was one of the most powerfully graphic films I've ever seen. It is not drenched in blood and gore, but when there is, it truly cuts you like a knife.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Remember O-town?



Not the band, but the trip I took several weeks ago. Well at last, here's a picture.

But the band is worth remembering too.

Did anyone really know what O-town meant before the band? They definitely added to our vernacular.

This is more a shout out and public thanks to Kaite, who I'm sure is the only one still reading this after my lazy updates!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Oscar Night

Crash won best picture.

I agree. It was one of the most beautiful films I've seen. I feel like I want to say it's my favourite movie, but it's not really. I've avoided watching it again, simply becuase the images it presents are almost too much. People learning to love each other, an to live and breathe in the mess around us makes for a powerful story.

Congrats to Paul Haggis.

I know [i]everyone[/i] was betting on Brokeback mountain to win, and from what I see and hear, it looks like a fantastic movie, but I'm really pleased at the statement that was made by Crash winning. Brokeback Mountain made some very important points about acceptance and love and respect, but I feel like Crash makes it more global. Rather than localizing it to a single social issue (homosexuality) it makes the point that this love and respect crosses ALL boundaries, and forces us to evalute how we as a society treat everybody, whether they are gay, straight, black, brown, rich, or poor.


"People matter. Life is Sacred. Men women and children are worth the greatest sacrifice, the supreme effort, the ultimate gift." -The OC Supertones

This is from their song 'The Shepherd is the Lamb,' and it's one of those phrases I aim to build a life upon. I was so struck that a movie like Crash was ever made. The issues are real, almost cliché, but the message isn't tied to any agenda, or social program. It simply says that people have value no matter who they are. I'm not of any visible minority, I've never felt anyone was being racist towards me, and I've never really had to deal with most of the issues that Crash attacks on the surface, so my exaltations aren't tied to any personal experience in that respect. But in spending time with Jesus, I see how that's pretty much ALL He's about. Breaking through mess, and granting worth to people.