Words

"The right word at the right time
is like a custom made piece of jewelry,
And a wise friend's timely repremand
is like a gold ring slipped on your finger."
-Proverbs 25: 11-12



A lot of you may know the story of how I ended up taking film at Ryerson. For those that don't, here's the recap:

My first year of highschool I finally figured out what the Christian thing was all about, and like many new Christians, I was sure that I was going to be a pastor. By grade ten, I'd mapped out my route. I was going to go to U of T to get my undergrad, then to Knox College to get my Doctor of Divinity (I was going to go all the way for no other reason than to have Dr. as my title). I even had the brochures.

In grade eleven however, my friend Kaite sat me down and took me task on it. "You're going to be a minster? Alright... here's the thing. You suck at that."

When I told this to some people, they felt bad for me for some reason, assming I must have been upset at these hurtful words. When I reminded Kaite of it years later, she even appologized. But this was (in my life) the best example of this proverb. Her words were the perfect words at just the right time. And it truly changed the course of my life (after living life aimlessly for a while after that, she told me how film was probably where I should be headed, and once she said that, I realized how that's where I was already headed anyway).

But when I was reading this verse tonight, I began thinking about the reverse of this. The wrong words at the wrong time. Or even the right words at the wrong time. Since if Kaite had waited or told me sooner, I might have actually been upset (for the record, I was never upset or hurt by what she said. It just made sense to me when I heard it. I did suck at it!).

I feel like this is an important issue, since words are so often the majority of our relationships with people. We call our friends up on the telephone, we go out for dinner and conversation, we sit next to each other and talk in class. Are we being careful about what we say to each other? Am I watching what sorts of jokes I make, or what sort of advice I give, or whether I need to say anything at all to someone, or do I need to go out of my way to speak to someone? There are a lot of ifs.

I think I've been made more aware of this the past few days. A few people have just been giving me the wrong words lately. And it's not that what they are saying is 'bad' or even 'good,' Sometimes it's been as simple as a hello at the wrong time, or a lack of hello at the right time.

Even on a slightly larger scale, it is crucial that we think about what we're saying. I witnessed a friend of mine suffer for months becuase he let a joke slip that he shouldn't have. It nearly tore two friends apart, and caused issues among more. He felt bad and continues to fell bad about this one thing he said.

And certainly I see myself as one of the worst culprits in this crime. A week or so ago, I missed out on spending time with some friends eating curry, simply becuase I didn't even bother to step out of my way to say hello to them. And when I do go out of my way to speak, I don't watch what I say as closely as I should either. A month or so ago, I really hurt someone with the advice I gave. I believe it was good advice, but I delievered it in the worst way.

This is one of those tall order things I think. The Bible says to stop sinning, but we really can't see ourselves doing it, so we think it's alright in small amounts. The Bible says we need to watch our tounges and speak always out of love, but I have such a hard time picturing me do it, that I'm happy just improving for a week or so, then going back to old habits. And I hate complacency.

That's it for now. I hope these were the right words at the right time.