Man With a Movie Camera

More T-Shirts

2007-03-31T14:12:00.000-04:00

I've done the whole "I don't like Christian T-Shirts" thing before, but these one left a particularly bad taste in my mouth.

I don't like this one on a superficial level. I hate Papyrus as a font. It seems trivial, but the point is that nobody who has studied design or typography would use this font. Why is it that Christians in art settle for mediocre? Why don't we strive towards excellence in all things?

This one is the class 'put a pretty image there, and people will respond' Just throwing in puppies, kittens, little babies in strawberry suits, etc, doesn't make for a good grpahic, or even an impactful one. Again, we can do better in terms of art.

This one harkens to the idea that the USA is like the new promised land. It closely associates Jesus, with concepts like nationalism and that's a dangerous thing to do.

I'm not a fan of ripping off famous logos and putting Jesus in their either. Though arguably this is debateable. It's good design, and doesn't offend. I just don't think it's the best way to go about it.

This one ties Jesus to the concept of military and war. It doesn't offer the latitude in terms of personal belief that Jesus offers his followers in the Bible. Jesus presents a balance. He came to bring both peace and the sword, not just the sword.

This one is ridiculous in how it presents it's point of view. Rather than encouraging one to rethink their notions on being pro-choice or pro-life, it simply cuts off everyone who doesn't think like the t-shirt wearer. Why? It only causes hatered, not love.

This one is the same as above, but even worse. This perpetuates huge division in Christianity. Why are brothers attacking brothers?

Again, over the top, in your face, and completely insensitive to the culture around us. All it does is let people know that the person wearing it believes in hell, and also holds God's knowledge on who gets to go or not. I know many new Christians need this kind of thing, where they must take other people down to build themselves up, but my hope is that people around them would help them though this stage. I know I needed to be helped through it.

Again, taking a very political stance on a very debateable subject. The Bible is clear how those who strive after God should live. It doesn't say whether Christians have to right to impose this law on others, leaving this wide open to discussion. This t-shirt fails to respect that. (For the sake of this post, I'm not going to comment on my own stance on the issue)

"We" win. "You" loose. You are other. We are the privilidged whom God loves more, and you are the loosers in this game of life. This is Christians not respecting the culture God has placed them in at all. This is overtly anti-biblical. We are called to love one another, and encourage people to choose in to Jesus. This simply draws an us vs. them line.

So with all that negativity, here's one I think is actually admerable. For one, it respects the culture around us. It addresses a need that both Christian and non-Christian can work together on (giving blood), it doesn't deminish Christ in any way, but instead lauds his actions on the cross. It's ambiguous enough to spur discussion, not argument, and it points the reader to Scripture. I think it's actually pretty good!

I have to blog you...

2006-07-10T23:00:00.000-04:00

Since returning from New York, I got to thinking a lot about the differences in city perceptions. Why is it that New York spawns entire albums of fantastic music? "Take the A Train," "New York New York," "We'll Have Manhattan," etc. Wheras Toronto has next to none.

Then I found this little gem.

Thanks Shuffle Demons!

A little less to do

2006-06-15T19:20:00.000-04:00

Just finished my course on Existentialism, which has been keeping me from blogging for a good while.

I've extended my blog readings though! (beyond Fungineer and Sacred Letters!, but check those out too!)

Anyway, I came across this and thought it was worth a read. It's part of a seires on defending conservatives. It's surprisingly balanced.

Aside from that, Quaker Oats pledged to donate food and drink to our camp this year, which is a HUGE bonus. Props to the peeps there! My budget fears are slowly disappearing.

Pop Art Photo

2006-05-29T02:31:00.000-04:00

This is Andrew. He's mad cool. We take existentialism together.

The Joy of Being!

2006-05-28T03:11:00.000-04:00

Three things last forever, faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.

First off, congrats to my cousin Janet and Wayne on their marriage! Something was so beautiful in that simple ceremony. The church had some white flowers, and that was about the only clue it was a wedding. The groom wore a nice suit, no tux, best man, likewise. The matron of honour came down in a nice dress that she owned, and the bride an pinkish-red dress, to canon in D played on a piano.

I was reading Ai Rie's live-journal today, and she made a comment about a person very special to her as a friend (I assume it's Jon, and I'm sure he figured it out too, but I gladly put the name to the one who's brought so much goodness to Ai Rei, and vice versa!). That kind of thing is equally beautiful. The person who fits that despcription for me knows who she is, and I pass along the same advice as Ai Rei. Hold on to that at all costs. Many people in this world will leave it without ever having experienced firendship, satisfied with only aquaintencship and drinking buddies.

Kaite (and if you hadn't figured it out, it's her), passed along to me this thought one day: "There are things that God will reveal to us ONLY when we are in community." Which is to say, the solitary life is not the life lived at all.

Stevie V

2006-05-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

First off, big congrats to Blake and Erin Bradley! They got married yesterday, and it was beautiful. It was the first wedding of a friend of been to, but I expect many more!

Which brings me to Stevie V! While there are in many Steve's at Licing Hope, and indeed several Seven V's, there is only one Stevie V! And yes, he is getting married to Wendy (whom I'm only mildly aquainted with, but seems to be a dear!)

This is an old photo of him being painted on by his best man!

Congratulations to both couples!

Colour like no other

2006-05-04T17:49:00.000-04:00

By now I feel like everyone may have seen this, but I still think it's unreal:

http://www.bravia-advert.com/commercial/braviaextcommhigh.html

(You'll need quicktime 7)

On that site is also the making of the commercial. Don't watch it. It will ruin it for you. There's something just too magical about this commercial, and while I thought I was desperate to know how they filmed it, when I did find out, it really sucked the life out of it.

This reminds me of Christo, and his public art. Ephemeral, and very beautiful.

Also, as much I am aware of what the Sony corperation is trying to do to me (get me to buy their Bravia), I have to say, I really would have no quams about doing so. The fact that Sony had the guts to give this ad the go ahead is really stunning and 'Apple-esque,' However, in light of Apple's less than stellar new ads, I'd say sony now has the upper hand, and will become the bar by which to judge good marketing.

Exam Time

2006-04-19T14:53:00.000-04:00

It's exam time, meaning I shall be writing a touch less.

This is from the MoMA in NY. I forget who the artist is, but I kinda like it.

Before and After

2006-04-18T02:52:00.000-04:00

Anyone seen wheel of fortune?

They got nothing:

Ralph Lauren Hill Billy Jean Little Eva Marie Saint Peter Paul & Mary Ann Tipper Gore Vidal Sasoon

Easter

2006-04-16T12:17:00.000-04:00

I still slip with my Christianese from time to time. Especially around Easter (the best of holidays should you care to know).

He is risen!

I guess that's one of those super cheesy lines that everyone says on Easter Sunday. I'm told it's cheese anyway. I don't get it. I guess a lot of people just say it. But it's really a phrase that touchs me deep! He is risen!

I think a lot of the time I spend so much effort analysing and critiquing religious institutions, theorizing on the relevance of Christianity and Jesus, that I forgot how much I love the guy. i wish I could just put aside my pride and be more honest about it with people. Why shouldn't I be? I tell people all the time how great my friends are, and speak marvelous things about my family.

So Jesus is great. I'm not all the way there yet, but in terms of finding the freedom he promises, it's becoming more and more evident each day. That's kind of exciting.

Happy Easter! He is Risen!

Guilt and the art of Living

2006-04-13T05:40:00.000-04:00

If i were to say I've been learning anything recently, I say it was that guilt is one of those terrible things I seem to be addicted to. Maybe it's the protestant in me, but I can't help but always reverting to the feeling that I have to somehow 'impress' God. This is a pretty basic assumption for some reason, and I'm not the only one seeking Jesus who is trying to kick this idea. But I was struck this evening at how destructive guilt can be.

Guilt is useful only in so much as it directs one into honesty about themselves, and healing. But often the opposite is true. We feel guilty, and we hide it, or suppress it, or in the worst case, can't STAND the fact that we have to be so utterly tied to this Christ guy who seems to exude it (a little close to home?). Turth be told though, it's once again a matter of our misperceptions. And this is what caught me off guard in a beautiful way.

There is NO condemnation from Christ. There is correction, but never condemnation. It's not that my mistakes don't dissappoint him, but he refuses to reject me for them. And I gotta say, I like that.

This year has been a year of me and God testing each other. He's making sure I'm really in this for the long haul. And after almost 6 years of BEING in it, I'm about ready to make sure that what He's saying is true. The Bible makes a whole bunch of promises to us, that often fall on deft ears. We see God SAYING he won't condemn us, then why do we feel so condemned? He SAYS he will set us free, then why are we in chains everywhere?

Sufficient to say, it didn't add up for me, so I've been setting out to be sure of these things. And surprisingly, that seems to be a good thing to do! I still feel let down in a lot of things, but slowly He proves himself trustworthy.

My general question to anyone: why wouldn't you want to know if this God is telling the truth? Are you afriad to find out He's not?

I think when we reach the point where we are able to say yes to that, we can embark a journey that difinitively answers "no, he IS honest".

Kjell's blogging.

2006-04-10T13:39:00.000-04:00

[b]The following is the random musings of Kjell during Art History:[/b]

Sometimes when I sit in art history I think how funny it would be if I could pick up Caralee and drop her from the cieling. This is because from where I am sitting she appears to be very small, so small in fact that this would be very easy to acomplish. I feel that if this were, however, the case, that it would be somewhat disastrous for the quality of any kind of class of the art history variety since I am likely not the only one who would find such an experiment intrigueing.

Thusly, I imagine that the entire art class would devolve into Caralee being picked up and dropped repeatedly. Mabye if this happened she would get injured and would be able to qualify for Worker's Comp. and then with the money she would be able to hire some super-intelligent aliens to teach art history with a skill only rivalled by Edward Slopek, who may or may not be a super-intelligent alien.
I like Edward Slopek, he has a very Polish head from which interesting things come.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. What you just read was the greates bar of music ever written, if you could have heard the intonations with which it was uttered in my head your brain would have exploded with its beauty. Its too bad that you can't write pitch or tone in a series of "la"s.

Thoughts on Venus of Urbino: I think that people grow pubic hair because the area is more sensitive to cold, this would explain the tendency of female nudes to place their hand strategically in this spot since they have to model like that for years at a time and the artist's studio might be very cold since artists are pretentious and picky like that and if its cold then they have a justification for wearing their silly scarfs and berets.

Barron, he makes your teeth turn green...Barron, he smells like gasoline!....Barron...Dum dum dum Barron...Barron Barron, Barron Barron...BArrrooonnnnn

[b]The preceding has been a Kjell Production. The views expressed may or may not represent those of the original author{/b]

A little bit of math?

2006-04-01T14:48:00.000-05:00

FAR be it from me to bring up math. I expect this is the last time you shall ever hear me mention it. But I ran across this the other day. It's supposedly the most beautiful equation in math.

It uses the five most important numbers in math: 1, 0, pi, e, and i.
It connects the four major branches: arithmatic (1, 0), geometry (pi), algebra (i), and analysis (e)
It works with unbelieveable precision.

It shows that there is an inherent beauty present in math.

One professor once said "God doesn't exist, but if he did, this equation would prove it."

The New Folk

2006-03-31T03:38:00.000-05:00

Props to Dave B. for introducing me to Sufjan, and props to Henning for making me fall in love with his music.

A quotation from Sufjan that's really inspiring:

"I do have to reckon with the material I'm singing about.And I want to be responsible for what I'm singing about. But I can't be responsible for an entire culture, or an entire church. I can't be responsible for Christendom. I think that when people react reflexively to material that is religious, they're reacting to the culture of religion. And I think an enlightened person is capable, on some level, of making the distinction between the institution of the culture and the culture itself."

Brokeback

2006-03-29T22:57:00.000-05:00

No, I haven't seen this movie yet. So forgive me for that. But needless to say, I've been left pondering it quite a bit. I came across a review of the film on the net, that is a Christian review, but luckily not one of a blind Christianity.

The responses to it were equally if not more insightful:

_______________________
This one, from a non Christian:

"I just wanted to complement you on a great review of Brokeback Mountain. I just saw it last night, enjoyed it very much on many levels, and came away with thoughts similar to those in your review. Mind you, as a heterosexual male, I have absolutely no issue with homosexuality (or, what was actually portrayed in the movie, bisexuality), and am decidedly not a Christian. But the theme I kept seeing in the movie was one indeed of two folks abdicating their responsibility for their actions. Societal or theological rules aside, they had promised certain things to real people in their lives (their wives and children), and just ignored them to their detriment."

_______________________
This one from Christian:

"Hats off for an insightful, balanced and accurate review.

I went to see Brokeback Mountain with a dear friend [of many years] yesterday. I am a proud father and the grateful husband of my best friend. [Personal details deleted.] At age 18, I embraced Christ and with much difficulty rejected homosexuality. I had actively and exclusively identified as such since age 11. To my disappointment, the struggle with homosexual desire has been constant, with varying degrees of intensity, since my conversion and I have come to accept that it is something I will have to contend with the rest of my life. With God's help, I have never been nor, never will be, unfaithful to my wife or to my Lord.

Having said that, I was alternately apprehensive about seeing the film for fear of needlessly enflaming unwanted passions and, intensely curious about the true nature of it. Though promoted as a love story, I was surprised to find myself thinking it entirely implausible that one could tell a story of gay love that was not really about gay sex.

As a sometime political and social activist I am very familiar with the positions staked out by both sides in the gay debate. While working to retain Biblical standards in law and social mores, I have also sought to be truly empathetic, respectful and compassionate towards those (of us) who, for a multitude of reasons, live with homosexual tendencies.

I am a strong advocate of deep, meaningful, intimate, lifelong relationships between members of the same sex. Some of my favorite verses speak of "bowels of affection and compassion" and being "kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love." Due to what appears to be our design, they bring us healing, wholeness and a strong base from which to live, give and lead healthy lives.

Hence, my ultimate decision to see the film to evaluate for myself whether this story is really one of love or sex. While I welcomed the idea of a story of two men truly loving and being committed to each other over a lifetime I doubted the love, and the relationship, would stand on its own if the sex were removed. I was, unfortunately, as you so aptly pointed out, right.

Thankfully, as I have grown older I have come to understand that the love that satisfies; that fulfills our need for commitment, trust, faithfulness, honesty and friendship; is the essence of our relationship with God and His desire for us concerning our relationships with each other. For love to lead to physical intimacy the relationship must be legitimate and God alone, as our Creator and Sustainer, has the authority and right to define the term: one man, one woman, in covenant.

Like it or not, fully understand or agree with it or not, the terms of true love are clear and to reject them is to reject God. To reject God, regardless of the reason, is to reject His love for us and any hope of living beyond our short-sighted, self-serving, and ultimately self-destructive desires. To reject God is to settle for something other than love.

Real love always involves cost, dying to self, indeed, sacrifice, as Jesus clearly demonstrated. Whether one considers him or herself heterosexual or homosexual, the pursuit of real love will always involve the need to lay down one's selfish impulses in favor of what could be called purity, holiness or righteousness. Heterosexual and homosexual individuals, families, and communities across time and space have suffered the consequences associated with insisting on following one's own way, of forming one's own truth.

Ennis and Jake's story left me feeling sad. I laughed at their innocence and cried at their loss. In the end, it was not loss of love denied that made my heart ache but the choices they made. Tragically, almost unbelievably, they consistently chose sex over love, physical gratification over commitment, lust over friendship. In their wake they left abused spouses, neglected children, and, each other.

I felt their pain and anguish, the grief and torment associated with not being able to have what they wanted. Resisting temptation and dying to our self is painful. However, a tolerant society would not have solved their problem. We, all, regardless of our particular state of denial must deal with the reality of God; the betrayal and shallowness associated with giving in to temptation. Love is painful, it is costly, but it is so worth it.

At any point, Ennis and Jake could have chosen relationship over forbidden sexual interests. Sadly, they did not. Rather, they traded a handful of exciting, sex-driven fishing trips for what could have been a lifetime of love, mutual support, companionship and genuine friendship. Therein lies the true tragedy of Ennis and Jake.

I am no film critic but I was pleasantly surprised at what a beautiful movie it was. I found the characters, storyline and settings compelling and never felt that I had to suspend reality to keep pace with it. I am guessing this might mean that the script, acting, cinematography, etc was of a high quality. Though the film has an obvious message and agenda, it is filled with complexities and subtleties that leave room for analysis and appreciation whether or not you agree with it or not. [Spoilers deleted.]
Jeffrey, I appreciate this opportunity to put in writing some of my thoughts regarding Brokeback. When I decided to seek out a review of the film from a self-described Christian perspective I was a little afraid. I was still sorting out some of my thoughts and feelings about the film and did not want to be influenced by those who are under or overly critical of it. Yours was the first I decided to read and was very satisfied to find that my conclusions were shared by another.

Brokeback is definitely a film that leaves one moved on an emotional level and somewhat challenged, intellectually and spiritually. I am relieved to find that though it provided ample reminder of who I was and could be, the film did not provide fodder for fruitless fantasies but rather strengthened my resolve to live a life of love, commitment and honor for my wife, family, friends, my God, and even, myself.

Some say that Brokeback is being touted as a potential award winner solely due to its subject matter. Having seen the film I suspect that many of its detractors oppose it for the same reason. If political supporters and critics are taken out of the equation I see no reason why it should not be in the running. It is a quality film and deserves to be judged on its merits."

_______________________

{I don't mean to grant the Christian man's response more 'word space' but his was much longer)

Again, I haven't seen the movie, so it's mostly unfair for me to comment. But in general, I can respect what's being said here. I have serious issues with films portraying sex (be it homo or hetero) and lust as a respectible alternative to love and commitment. Having experienced this ideal mess up my own life in many respects, and watched it do the same to others, my response is simply, "Why are we lauding this?"

I used to think that Christianity and the Christian life was easy, becuase I was falsely prommised an immediate change in the desires of my heart. But I realize that this is a process. A long process by which we are set free from ourselves, and our desires. People (myself) believe we are in control of ourselves and have this freedom, but everywhere we are in chains to our own desires, be that material, sexual, or otherwise.

The second greatest promise of Jesus seems to be the one we all miss. FREEDOM. He says he'll do it, and though I didn't believe him for a long time, he's proving it to me daily. And really, from one who is tired of false Christian promises, this one is the real deal. It's a joy unlike anything else.

Lost in the cloud

2006-03-28T23:05:00.000-05:00

So this is more about Kaite's experience than mine, but it's confirming to know that God is still around and doing things. In fact, rather amazing things.

She and a friend had some honesty. They shared some real things, and talked to God in conversation, not in a hyper-spiritual false reality. Being honest with themselves and with God, they were both able to experience healing of a very real and practical sort.

Speaking words can sometimes be difficult, especially ones about ourselves. And when we have to speak truths about our shortcomings and sordid pasts, it can be nearly impossible to the point where most people may never do it. If we 'SAY' the words, then it solidifies the reality of situations that we don't want as part of our history. I've been through this, and still hold things within me that I just don't want to say for fear of it being true and part of my history (which it already is).

Now certianly this isn't a forum for such things, and I don't want to make this about me in any way.

It IS about God, and the fact that He is willing to meet us and HEAL us where we are, and cut through messiness and embrace us becuase he's already taken care of our messy lives. We just need to accept that now. Which on many issues, I just don't.

I was also reading in Isaiah last night about people who change bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter, and was reminded at how often I end up doing crap and thinking it's good. I need to take account of my actions and see which ones are actually making me wholly satisfied, and not just 'joy for the moment' or be sure that it isn't a mask of happiness I'm wearing to hold on to certain things. Tough business. One day I might figure it out.

6 hours in the TTC

2006-03-22T03:45:00.000-05:00

Today was the final film shoot of the year for me (save possible re-shoots)!

That meant going down into the subway at 9:30, and not re-emerging till 4. I enjoyed this shoot becuase we actually put a lot of effort into it. It's not easy to get permission to shoot on the subway platforms, let alone on the cars. So we had to organzie ourselves well (and Ai Rei get's all the props for that). So our film made it through the cameras, no breakage, no bad looping, no lens problems. Those were my biggest concerns.

Today I learned about bezier curves on wikipedia. We're doing Illustrator in class. The wiki article was rather daunting, as it contained a lot of numbers. I didn't realize it was quite so mathematical. Engineers probably have to know this stuff, and that's exactly why I'm not an engineer. I just need to know if the curve is nice to look at. And we both end up with university degrees! How neat is that?

Today's word is:

casus belli
-An action or event that causes or is used to justify starting a war.

"9/11 was America creating it's own casus belli"

Face the sky

2006-03-15T00:02:00.000-05:00

Some pictures looking 'up'

The Gugenhiem

The Art Gallery of Ontario

Tall NY buildings

About the president of ICACP

2006-03-13T16:17:00.000-05:00

Carlo Raponi, in his own words:

"Raised in a cave close to the center of the earth by Troll Martian Elvis impersonators, I escaped and made my way to the surface using nothing more than a spoon and a hi-liter. Once arrived in the warm sun, so familiar to crust wandering bipeds, I was adopted by evangelical ninja wolves and taught the ways of Jesus. Happy, elated and overjoyed at salvation, I decided to let others in on this secret; thus leading me to my present position as Assistant Director for a youth center run by Kawartha Youth for Christ. I am also a chaplain in an open custody facility for young offenders and president of ICACP - the International Coalition for Amalgamation of Cotton and Polyester."

La vie est belle, mais douloureuse!

2006-03-13T02:28:00.000-05:00

douloureuse=painful

Let me just say that the cost of one of lifes more beautiful evenings is two of lifes more painful blisters.

La vie est belle

2006-03-12T03:02:00.000-05:00

"Riley is a great guy. He is 18 years old, and his life stretches out before him like an open road—a road he can’t wait to travel. But Riley sees this road disappearing behind a grove of trees just a few hundred yards up ahead. Where it’s heading, he has no idea. How many side roads and where those roads may take him—he hasn’t a clue. In fact, that’s the beauty of it. An infinite number of choices, an infinite number of destinations. Only God knows where his course will lead. Riley has the strong conviction that to choose a single road would be to limit God (and himself) from all other possibilities. He would much rather keep his options open. Wide open."

From here.

I read this and thought it was rather beautiful. I'm using the word beautiful a lot more these days. Hope it isn't annoying anyone, just I'm starting to get a better hold on life's beauty.

Jon and I went to Toronto Island today and walked along the boardwalk, then watched the sun set, got threatened by a duck and had to hop a fence. Then we found a swing set in the middle of nowhere, and went on it as the last little bit of light faded from the day.

I had plans to write an essay today, but I'm rather happy with what I got.

Soemtimes in April

2006-03-11T23:58:00.000-05:00

People should see this film.

It deals with the Rwandan Genocide (which I'm currently doing a paper on, hence the reason I picked it up in the first place). What I like about it is its lack of a central hero figure. This isn't the Schindlers List of Africa. This deals with two Hutu brothers, one who incites hatered through his radio program, the other who is married to a Tutsi woman, but is part of the militia.

As a warning, this movie was one of the most powerfully graphic films I've ever seen. It is not drenched in blood and gore, but when there is, it truly cuts you like a knife.

Remember O-town?

2006-03-10T15:02:00.000-05:00

Not the band, but the trip I took several weeks ago. Well at last, here's a picture.

But the band is worth remembering too.

Did anyone really know what O-town meant before the band? They definitely added to our vernacular.

This is more a shout out and public thanks to Kaite, who I'm sure is the only one still reading this after my lazy updates!

Oscar Night

2006-03-06T00:06:00.000-05:00

Crash won best picture.

I agree. It was one of the most beautiful films I've seen. I feel like I want to say it's my favourite movie, but it's not really. I've avoided watching it again, simply becuase the images it presents are almost too much. People learning to love each other, an to live and breathe in the mess around us makes for a powerful story.

Congrats to Paul Haggis.

I know [i]everyone[/i] was betting on Brokeback mountain to win, and from what I see and hear, it looks like a fantastic movie, but I'm really pleased at the statement that was made by Crash winning. Brokeback Mountain made some very important points about acceptance and love and respect, but I feel like Crash makes it more global. Rather than localizing it to a single social issue (homosexuality) it makes the point that this love and respect crosses ALL boundaries, and forces us to evalute how we as a society treat everybody, whether they are gay, straight, black, brown, rich, or poor.

"People matter. Life is Sacred. Men women and children are worth the greatest sacrifice, the supreme effort, the ultimate gift." -The OC Supertones

This is from their song 'The Shepherd is the Lamb,' and it's one of those phrases I aim to build a life upon. I was so struck that a movie like Crash was ever made. The issues are real, almost cliché, but the message isn't tied to any agenda, or social program. It simply says that people have value no matter who they are. I'm not of any visible minority, I've never felt anyone was being racist towards me, and I've never really had to deal with most of the issues that Crash attacks on the surface, so my exaltations aren't tied to any personal experience in that respect. But in spending time with Jesus, I see how that's pretty much ALL He's about. Breaking through mess, and granting worth to people.

The Notorious B-Line

2006-02-28T13:14:00.001-05:00

I turned twenty in NY! This was the morning of, and I'm wearing a gift from Karen and Andrew, my Brox to Brooklyn B-line shirt. I LOVE this shirt. It also earned me the nickname "B-line"

All in all, it was the best birthday I've ever had! New York, people jumping on me, never have I ever, Roxy's diner, the UN, almost getting killed on the FDR, and to top it off, when I came home, Kaite had prepared me a full out taco dinner. It was beautiful.

The NY Subway

2006-02-27T18:31:00.000-05:00

This (in my opinion) is one of the better pictures I took in NY. The lighting just seems right, NY has some beautiful tile work in their subway system (a little more artistic than Toronto's utilitarian designs), and Jonathan (regardless of his disbelief) is very photogenic.

The Bronx is up and the Battery's down.

2006-02-24T16:31:00.000-05:00

Just flew in from what was an unbelieveably great trip to New York. Broke the budget a bit, but the experiences were worth it, and more importantly the people.

Sadly no photos yet, but you can bet they'll come.

Best part of the trip:
Hands down I think we all agree the monday night talk.

Worst part of the trip:
Megan, why did you have to go to bed so early on monday night?

Best 'touristy' thing in New York:
The Cricle Line Cruise

Best New York gem:
Walking through Central Park

Best New York moment:
1) When the black man announced to all of times square that Karen, Andrew and I hate black people (we don't... to be very clear)
2) "We're going to go to lunch in the East village" - Ai Rei. It was a beautiful thing to say.

Worst New York trait:
They can't give you separate checks to save their lives.

Best New York Quotations:

"ne pas!" - all of us

"Did you burn yourself?" "On my cold cuts?" -andrew, me

"I herring-boned your mom!" -Karen

"On y va!" -all of us

"Is this where we get off... the train..." -Andrew

"Don't try them on, they all fit you. You pay ten dollars and make twenty dollars of work for me" -Very shifty salesman

The last time I saw Thomas Lounge

2006-02-15T15:28:00.000-05:00

I gave up nachos yesterday to go speed dating.

It was worth it.

Happy post-valentines day.

Can't all be right...

2006-02-09T15:55:00.000-05:00

I just engaged in a discussion about fundimentalism, where the question was 'is it worth debating with someone once you've found out they are a fundamentalist?"

Now religious fundamentalism isn't a great thing in my opinion. I believe it is a form of religious slavery, but I also have to accept that this is my own opinion.

My intitial response was that the question was loaded. It assumes that fundamentalist thinking is wrong to begin with, and that non-fundamentalist thinking is somehow of a higher plane. Now at my core, I very much think this is true, and that's an issue I think I need to deal with. In a sense, I de-value these people. It's odd, because I've learned to accept most other world philosophies as simply different than my own. I can accept athiesm becasue I can understand the reasoning behind it, I can see how someone would be a muslim, and I don't see that as 'less than me' simply becuase I have a different approach.

But what about the generally unaccptable ideas? Generally we reject them, and de-value those who hold them. Racism, anti-homosexuality, anti-semitism, etc. The problem is this: I see these as destructive ideas, ones that tear people apart, so I reject them. But I am forced to realize that I am judging them based on my own ideals, and that when one considers each of these ideas on its own, there is nothing in and of each one that makes them 'wrong.' To reject them, we need to say that another set of ideals is fundamentally right.

An illustration:

Vixen hates Red nosed reindeers. Always has. They don't have his perfect black nose. Rudolph hates Vixen for his ideals. Rudolph believes in equality.

Whose right in this situation? Both of them sadly. There is nothing intrinsic to equality to make it 'right' and nothing intrinsic to racism to make it 'wrong.' We like equality better, and therfore call racism wrong.

This is the curse of modernism.

But to be clear, this is not my own opinion. My view is that there is a moral absolute becuase this world is not purposeless. It was created, and therefore there are laws that govern us. Racism is wrong because equality is right when judged by this moral absolute.

But the kicker that I'm struggling with is how do I deal with the racist? To devalue him/her is to be equally racist. And worse, I know that God somehow loves the racist. Hates the ideals, but loves the person. I don't get it. He sees something I am apparently missing.

That's my thought for the day.

Arrested Development

2006-02-06T17:20:00.000-05:00

Today's quotation:

Wife: I'm in love with your brother-in-law
Gob: you're in love with your own brother? the one in the army?
Wife: No, you're sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? Michael!
Wife: Michael is your sister's brother.
Gob: I'm my sister's brother. Me? You're in love with Me!
Wife: No, I'm in love with Tobias
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Wife: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving and enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother?
Wife: NO!

Damien the man

2006-01-31T00:19:00.000-05:00

This guy is gold. I love his voice, and his whole style in general. I think he's the James Blunt before there was James Blunt.

This song to me always seemed like a worship song. Something about the words, and the mood, really makes me feel like the song is describing an actual relatonship with Christ, instead of a contrived one that many worship songs use.

So this is my half beef I guess: worship songs only describe a very particular aspect of a relationship with Christ, and deny that any other aspect exists.

I think that in general, today's worship music isn't 'bad' as a lot of people are beginning to feel, but I don't see it as complete. And The Blowers daughter (and many of the songs in the Mellow mix) fills in these gaps for me.

I'm not always madly in love Jesus, like the songs might say. Often I worry, or question, or am at a point where I'm figuring out a lot, and the words of today's worship music is insufficient to describe this actual relationship, one where there are ups and downs, where there's communication and compromise, and most importantly, struggle.

If I put on a WOW worship CD, it sounds like I just need to sing along or something to be in this relationship with Jesus, when in fact, like ANY relationship, it takes more work than that. Could you imagine if the extent of your relationship with your wife or husband was just "I love you. I love you. I love you."? It's be a fairly dry relationship, and were I the husband, I might want out bad.

I think this sogn though has a sense of struggle to it. It's this extremely [i]intense[/i] mellow song. the beat is slow, but the words are cutting as he sings them. "I can't take my eyes off you." I think THAT describes where I am right now. I can't take my eyes of Christ, whether I want to or not. He's sufficiently proven himself to me, that should I want to simply ignore him, that's not even an option now. And as beautiful as that should be, it certianly is wrought with struggle as well. I don't get a lot of what He does, or why He does it, but I'm in this position where I'm incappable of looking away.

If you must spend money...

2006-01-30T00:03:00.000-05:00

This is my 'top ten things that are worth spending money on'

9) Tacos
This California-Mexican delight is ALWAYS worth it. I've yet to be disappointed. Even better when paired with #2
8) Mood lighting
Any boring, dull, unclean room can be made comfortable and liveable with a few well placed lights.
7) Birkenstocks
Yes, they are expensive, but worth EVERY penny. They are SO good for your feet. Get the Blue inserts for your shoes, they're only like $30.
6) Traveling
I don't think I've ever regretted a penny spent on travel Experience is priceless
5) Apple Computers
Had to include it. It's not perfect, but it's the best computer anyone's ever come up with.
4) Education
It's an investment baby.
3) Loan money
I don't do it a lot, but it's very freeing for some reason
3) Toilet Paper
Don't go cheap. You'll regret it later. Murpheys law: You'll always get the runs when you buy scratchy toilet paper.
2) Dinner with friends.
Really, don't be afraid to spend money on eating with other people.
1) a Duvay
I can't say ENOUGH about duvays. Yes they're pricey, but man oh man, nothing, but NOTHING feels better than sleeping under a down filled duvay. It's like your bed is hugging you all night long. If I had my duvay, I could sleep through world war three. If you've never experienced a duvay, buy one on my recomendation.

Number 8 burp

2006-01-29T23:29:00.000-05:00

So to get the ball rolling, I'm going to jump right into track 8.

I don't know how this made it into my 'mellow mix' becuase it's really anything but. Regardless, it's a super song.

I think this one hit me like a tonne of bricks for the line "A war is going on, but the reason's undercover. The truth is kept secret, swept under the rug, if you never know truth then you never know love."

If Jesus did hip-hop (and I'm sure he would), he'd cover this song. It's like the whole message that Jesus taught in one song. Where IS the love? We try and fill our lives with everything EXCEPT love it seems. We'd rather consume, or strive towards success than sit back and actually LOVE one another. This is rampant among Christianity today. We purchase resources and read tonnes of self help books on spirituality and how we can personally be 'closer to God,' and negect completely the beauty of sharing in each others lives.

It is perhaps a bold statement, but I really believe that NO one can be a follower of Christ independently. It is impossible to further ones own journey without connecting deeply with other people. Not a superficial 'deep' either. Often we feel like if we share our bad stuff with people, we are being 'deep' with them. Granted it's a part of it, but is no where near the whole picture. Jesus surrounded himself with people, and when the deciples went out, they didn't go out alone.

This song is beautiful becuase it demands that we put ourselves aside and engage with the world around us.

The Mellow Mix and a new Christianity

2006-01-29T00:08:00.000-05:00

I made a mix CD a while ago. It was called "Mellow Mix" because, as Jess so elequently put it, 'it's so mellow I want to shoot myself.' For reference, that wasn't the intended goal.

The more I listen to it, the more I love it. It is (for me) the nearly perfect mix in my life right now. The words, and the songs all describe something so alike to everything I'm experiencing with my faith right now.

The songs are as follows:

1) The Blowers Daughter - Damien Rice
2) Call and Answer - Barenaked Ladies
3) Cannonball - Damien Rice
4) Lovers in a Dangerous Time - Barenaked Ladies
5) Sparks Fly - David Crowder
6) Spies - Coldplay
7) The Shepherd is the Lamb - The OC Supertones
8) Where is the Love - Black Eyed Peas
9) Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
10) Tell Him - Lauren Hill

Over the next few posts, I plan to sort of deconstruct each song and explain what I think it has to say about a new Christianity.

Now to begin with, I hate the term 'New Christianity,' becuase it seems like nothing more than a new take on religion, which this isn't. Rather, I see it as a journey around religion to discover the actual reality behind the dogmas and doctrines of the Christian religion.

I'm almost inclined to use the term 'emergent church' sort of stuff, but I think that's a misnomer as well. From my understanding, the Emergent church is an attempt to recapture the early church from the perspective of post-modernism, and I don't think that's entirely what I'm describing.

More what I'm describing when I say 'New Christianity' is an attempt to see Jesus without the eyes of religion or the history of the church. The church sees Jesus as the foundation, and then builds up rules and laws and sacraments on top of this foundation. But more what I'm suggesting is that Jesus is the whole building, foundation, walls, and roof, and the question I'm probing is, what does that building look like and what's inside?

Basically, without the cheesy analogy, I'm suggesting that getting to know Jesus, what he did and why he did it, is paramount, and nothing else is needed as a starting point or finishing point.

Hopefully this will make sense as I continue this musical experiment.

More movies

2006-01-24T05:08:00.000-05:00

Donnie Darko

It was about TIME I saw this movie. Everyone raves about it, and I can see why. My opinion (possibly a spoiler? Watch out anyway):

The whole sotry is a very unique religious encounter. Donnie was taken in by a flase prophet, Frank, the creepiest bunny ever, becuase Frank saved Donnie from dying. Donie's fear was being alone, and we see that all throughout the movie. He thinks that Frank is an answer to this fear, but Frank leaves him just as alone, and worse off. Frank leads him to a taste of togetherness, and then takes it away (the death of Gretchen). In the end, Donnie is enlightened, and sees that in death, he will no longer be alone, and that life for everyone else will be better as well.

Rent

It's about time I added this one to my blog, I saw this over a month ago.

My verdict: good, fun, worth watching, perhaps not great. I think my original point that it didn't warrent being made into a film was slightly invalid. That being said, I enjoyed, and would watch it again, but it won't be making any top ten lists I don't think. (Sorry Ai Rei)

Narnia

The first installment of this series. What can I say? I LOVE C.S. Lewis (his non-fiction literature, I think, is the gold standard of theological literature. VERY loaded with thought, but also VERY relevent and accessible.

The movie did a great job capturing the book I thought. I don't think this was for children however, which the original stories were. Reading about the Lion being killed was one thing, but watching it in fron of you is another, and there were a lot of tears during that scene.

One little dissapointment: Jadis's power was turning people to stone, Aslan's was bringing them back. Not a great fight.

Father of the Bride II

All I can say is that Steve Martin is easily the worst actor ever in this movie. He's NOT funny, he's incredibly dry. You could poke a dead cat with a stick and get better line delivery that he gave in this film.

Fever Pitch

Jimmy Fallon however IS funny. And so is Drew Barrymore. This was a great film. Very stock, but with a couple twists.
"What's you're sick movie?"
"Annie Hall..."
"Oh my gosh... that's... that's so weird.. this is crazy, you're not going to belive it: Raging Bull! What are the chances?"

The Cremaster Cycle

This is a pomo film. 7 hours long. We only watched 30 minutes. It was about a scotish man who was barfing up fabric and dressed in hot pink climbing up the walls of the Guggenheim, trying to reach the man who threw wax at lead while fighting the tiger woman with no legs.

Need I say more?

I don't get pomo. Apparenlty this is a VERY deep film. The Cremaster is apparently the muscle that raises and lowers the testicles to keep them at the appropriate temperature.

The Birds

A Hitchcock great. We only watched certain clips from it, to study the use of sound. So the sound was great, and I;d love to see the rest of the movie. He really is the master of suspense. I heard a bird flapping the other day and got kind of tense.

Not "either/or" but "both/and"

2006-01-18T03:55:00.000-05:00

So it's coming to fruition. The idea that was posed several months ago, about gathering together to talk about life and love and spirituality in this day and age, is going to happen. Now, no kidding around, this is actually somewhat part of IVCF (Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship), but they've trusted me (for some reason) to host this thing.

The convo starters will be based around the gospel of John. Jesus, believe in him or not, certainly presented a lot of philosophy about right living and spirituality. He flew in the face of religion and dogma and tried to bring down the institutions and traditions that the religious leaders used to hold the people in bondage.

Ironically, we formed a religious institution around this thinking.

Should you care to discuss this, or other issues surrounding faith/religion/philosophy/spirituality, feel free to show up at my place (Neill Wycik, unit 5P, ask me if you don't know where that is) on Wednesdays at 6:30. Hopefully there will be food. Sometimes there won't be. It all depends.

As for the title of this post, it comes from the following article.

Pomo and the Church

Ode to Alaina

2006-01-18T02:07:00.000-05:00

This is Alaina. Alaina, is one of my oldest aquaintences, stemming back to us sitting next to each other in grade 8. Actually, if you go a little further back, you might find Eva or Paul there. But this is about Alaina.

Alaina is one of the most down to earth people I've ever known. She doesn't get phased, or upset often, and when she does, she's always right.

If it weren't for Alaina, I wouldn't know the following things:

-how to drive stick
-that plastic off-gasses
-that I should cough into my shoulder to avoid spreading germs
-that purell is NOT a substitute for hand washing
-how to edit creatively
-that you can remember John Mulvahill's name by thinking 'Tom Bombadill'
-the horrors of urban sprawl
-different tree spiecies, and how to identify them
-how to do the C storke
-how to properly trade places in a canoe
-from that same trip, how to avoid angry seagulls
-why recyling isn't all it's cracked up to be, but why we should do it anyway
-the meaning of the word 'ensconced"

If it weren't for Alaina, the following things would never have got done:

-Cool Character DVD
-The Wiz DVD
-the moving of Paul's booth
-Take a Chance
-The yearbook cover we never submitted

If Alaina hadn't been born, the following would occur:

-we would continue to increase our waste
-the water balloons would still be in the water
-World War 3 (I assume)

So that's Alaina. Some of you may not know her, but hopefully you'll see how important she is to society anyway.

The art of People

2006-01-15T16:47:00.000-05:00

For anyone who doesn't know (perhaps you've been hiding under a rock on Mars), I have come to love Christo and Jeanne-Claude.

They are instrumental artists, who create massive projects that involve bringing people together for an irrational thing of beatuy.

This is possibly my favourite work of theirs, the wrapping of the Reichstag. It's not their most 'beautiful' work I don't think. I think the Umbrella's in California and Japan, or the Islands in Miami hold that title. But I think this is one of their most significant works.

The Reichstag was the former German parliment building, and is located right next to the Berin wall. It became a symbol of Facism, and Nazism, as well as soviet occupation. It was somewhat horrific in that sense.

So Christo and Jeanne-Claude suggested that it be wrapped, and transformed. Cover it up for two weeks, and by doing that, you'll be getting rid of the negative symbolism. The object is no longer a thing of the past, but a beautiful peice of art-work that can be enjoyed by everyone. And indeed it was. It was a party for two weeks outside the Reichstag.

Thousands of people brought together, and a less than stellar history put to rest. To me, this was Christo giving something back to the world. Not that all his projects aren't like that, but this one specifically so. This one was less for Christo than it was for humanity.

Semester Deux

2006-01-10T18:39:00.000-05:00

Coming back to Toronto has been wonderful. I got 2 new roomates. One is a med student, the other is an interior designer. Both are clean, and like to clean. And I think we're going to get along just fine.

In fact, my apartment is cleaner than it has ever been before. For the first time it actually 'feels' like it's clean. I went mad the other day and disinfected a lot of stuff. I even used our kitchen last night. Which is something I was rather afraid to do before.

The picture was taken on Dec 12th, at a hill on Keele St. just north of Bloor. It was the day I went sledding, and also the day I finished my first semester.

The guy on the hill

2006-01-05T03:54:00.000-05:00

So this was my small bout of creativity this Christmas season. And in that, it's not even very creative. Shannon McCulkeen painted an image very similar to this for the cover of my journal. It was perfect. I gave it to her one week and asked if she would paint it. She asked what did I want on it? I told her I didn't know, so she said she'd pray about it, and find the right image.

And this is similar to what she came up with. It's freakin brilliant if you ask me (her picture). The image has stuck with me for years, and I've always pictured myself as the man in the image (litterally in the image above. That's me in black there). Over the years I've always been drawn to what that guy is thinking about up there. It changes with my mood, but he's never upset or angry. He's always very contemplative. Either he's saying thank you, or pouring his heart out, or saying he's sorry, or just hanging out with the Man.

A lot of my work includes subtle references to this image. For my final ISU in English, I wrote a short sotry entitled 'Up on the Mountain,' For a few of my films, I've included shiloettes to define characters, and this year, two of my design projects have featured this colour scheme.

Should Shannon ever read this, I'm sorry the most creative thing I've done lately is to simply steal your work. But of all the images I've ever seen, for some reason, yours stands out above them all.

And in this new year...

2006-01-01T13:27:00.000-05:00

Apparently 2005 was a 'leap second' year. Due to our inability to create perfect time (really, you'd think we'd get it by now), we had to add another second to 2005 to keep us in line with the sun. Otherwise, in millions of years, we might be watching a beautiful sunrise at 2:30 in the morning, or be hitting rush hour traffic (I don't know which way the shift goes).

So unfortuneately, if you counted down from ten this year, you celebrated a little bit early.

link

The Lighter Side

2005-12-22T14:16:00.000-05:00

The last three posts have been rather confrontational and 'what's wrong with this world we live in?' -esque.

I'm reminded though that people are awesome. And though collectively we can do some pretty dull things, I almost can't get over how good it is when people open up and share in fellowship.

Christmas is a convenient time for this.

Numb

2005-12-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

Kaite e-mailed the other day with the following to say. I asked if I could share it publically.

"I went into chapters, and after reading numerous titles, I just got overwhelmed and discouraged. It's as if every book suggests that it has the answer, some morsel of truth to grasp onto, but in reality it's just as empty as the last. We are so consumed by our consumption. The entire store is tribute to the fact that we have no clue about reality, we remove ourselves from the real state of the world, and seek to find wholeness in superficiality of things. We keep making stuff, but in the end it'll all be gone. And in the process we throw away those bits of truth that are part of the whole, maybe incomplete, but at least they're something. People, relationships, connection, joy in the little stuff, and the fullness of life. That's what we're missing, that fullness. I browsed through titles like, "decorating to end depression" and "the anti-aging guide to eradicating wrinkles, laugh lines, that tummy, and attaining complete perfection through cosmetic surgery from head to toe). Aside from being a dreadful title, (can we say run-on anybody?) it just hit me all the bullshit that is out there. There's this ridiculous standard set up, attaining perfection is our god, it's in our attempts to IKEA ize our living rooms, the listening to of Martha Stewart for the perfect Christmas decorations, and our constant upgrades of technology, the gyms we join, the self-help books we read, and the never ending spending spree that is our lives.

"We're numb, and we don't even know it."

The Madness of Luxury Living.

2005-12-16T01:55:00.000-05:00

My heart is aching. I just can't believe the excess we live in.

Two issues that are really hitting me are public transportation and urban sprawl. Why I have such a passion for these two things, I don't know. But it's frustrating to be so concerned about these loosing battles.

Public Transportation:

What is wrong with our government? How can they have the nerve to promise us tax cuts, when they've dramatically cut funding in this area (and others too I'm sure) that is so vital to our health, the enivronment, and the infastructure of our country? It used to be that the province helped to fund public tranportation, but that all but disappeared with Harris.

The situation is so dire that I can't even see the solution as getting people to take public transit. I know I for one wouldn't be able to do in Peterborough. The system is so out of date with current traffic patterns, so unreliable, and unintuitive in general. This is true of many people I'm sure in cities all over Ontario. Toronto (I'm told) has one of the best in North America, and it's desperate for fixing. But no one wants to spend money on it. No wants to give Public Transit a chance even. The TTC propsed to create a right-of-way streetcar route on St Clair, only to be met with opposition from the merchants who felt it would 'take away from the beauty of the neighborhood.' I almost counldn't believe that this was a valid argument, and yet they won their first court case against the TTC (which the TTC is now appealing).

To try and give you a visual:

this many cars:
_____
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo - O < can be replaced by this streetcar.
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo |
oooooooooo___|

With the unbelievable environmentally friendly impact that this would have, as well as the relief of congestion, and the easier access for hundreds of thousands of Torontonians who don't own a car, is 'beauty' a valid excuse?

Urban Sprawl

I covered most of this a few days ago. But it's important to note how closesly it is with the public transit issue. Suburbs can't be served with public transit efficiently. It's extremely low density residential, and developers have this sick facination with creating 'elegent winding streets' that are in fact nothing but a maze, making bus routes nearly impossible.

The visual applies here as well. That many suburban houses can be replaced by one apartment building that is substantially easier to maintain and service with transit. And the environmental footprint is considerably less.

The Problem

We like to live in excess. We like to have a big backyard, a car, a house we can keep up. They're all signs of prosperity that signify to others that we achieved a certain level of wealth (which is a lie of course, since we don't also show off the amount of debt we have put ourselves in to obtain these signifiers).

We are a prideful people. And I wish I wasn't.

Jesus vs. Pomo

2005-12-12T02:09:00.000-05:00

How do you talk about Jesus to a world that thinks it's already made up it's mind?

I've been reading about John the baptist lately, as well as the deciples. An interesting look on things, kind of the 'bookends' of Jesus life. It's refreshing, becuase thier job was so clear cut. No one knew about Jesus, they hadn't even heard of him. And when they did hear, it was important and people changed.

Nowadays, who hasn't heard about Jesus? And while were on the subject, who hasn't heard about the crap that's been done in his name?

I was brought to thinking about this a week or so ago when I was sitting in Concepts and Theories. Ella, who sits next to me each week, asked if I was religious.

I HATE that question. It's loaded.

I can say yes, assuming that she simply means, "do you believe in God?" but becuase I said yes to the word 'religious' that also means I could fall into a lump of 'religious' people who vote republican, burn abortion clinics, and can't survive without buying another testamint.

I can say no, simply becuase I don't consider myself to part of the above definition, but also deny the way Jesus has been changing me and the relationship we've had for half a decade now.

My response went as such:

"yes... um... no.... uh... I think Jesus is awesome."

That's right. 5 years to prepare a response, and that's still the best I can do. I almost choked on the cheese.

In a way though, it's very true. I do think Jesus is awesome, but not 'awesome' as a meaningless superlative. I didn't mean for it to sound like it came off a bumper sticker, or a t-shirt shold at a mega-Christian-conference

So here's the full answer, just to explain myslef a little.

Jesus is awesome. Awesome in that there have been moments where I'm left speechless at the things he does. When I try to read through his life in the Bible, and set aside all notions of religiousity, I'm somtimes stunned. This man wasn't someone off of a stained glass window. This guy was reolutionary. Not revolutionary like Napoleon or Che, but revolutionary in a completely new way. He was 100% for the people, which no person after him or before him ever was.

I met him several years ago, and my immediate reaction was confusion and then blame. He pointed out a lot of things that were wrong in my life, and instead of accepting it and changing, I offloaded to others and judged them (some of you reading this will perhaps remember this of me).

The most difficult thing for me to get my ego around was the fact that this Christ guy wasn't an impersonal being. He actually wanted to get to know me, and have me get to know him. This is the part where most people check out of my story, because it goes a step beyond convention, and you're then forced to make a decision of whether or not I'm telling the truth, or just spouting my mouth off.

Though at one time, I very much viewed Jesus as this distant character like something out of a 50's biblical blockbuster, I came to realize that this conception leads one to miss out on just who he was, how amazing he was, and how real he is.

Suburbia

2005-12-09T16:17:00.000-05:00

I read a rather unfortuneate article in Macleans this week, about suburbs and how 'they aren't THAT bad.'

Please!

It's economically inefficient, it's environmentally damaging, it's socially inequitable, and aesthetically it's ugly. Yes, those are the four arguments against suburbs, and he tries to deconstruct each one.

It's not that he does a poor job at it, it's that he hasn't accounted for the negative impact the suburbs have had on urban development and the environment.

Particularly in regards to the environmental issues. His argument runs as such:

"The notion that you'd have a very dense city that's environmentally friendly is very difficult to sustain. A whole bunch of apartment buildings that rely on big, centralized energy systems for all the heating and cooling and elevators, and everything else? By contrast, let's say everybody lived at two-acre densities. What could happen if they got all their energy right on site -- geothermal, wind, solar? You wouldn't need these huge systems of waste-water treatment and water delivery. You could have a more-or-less self-sufficient kind of situation."

Brilliant, if that were the case, but I don't know any suburbians who are about to put up a solar factory in their back yard, or start harvesting the earth's heat. As well, even though the burbs could rely on well water (ones in the country do), most rely on water from a central source, and have sewage treated at a central source.

So the same problems exist with the suburbs as do in high-density buildings, however, burbs stretch out over VAST expanses of land, whereas high-rises have a small footprint. High-rises are also transit-friendly, which the burbs are not. Many people in high-rises opt out of owning a vehicle of their own, but such a luxury isn't possible in suburbs, where density is so low that it makes running routes economically unsound.

I'm not going to comment on the ugliness of suburbs, because not all burbs are. But certainly urban-sprawl cities have lost a lot of magic and history with dowtowns going the way of the dodo in favour of a 'central business district' that in many cases is just a mall (Scarborough Town Centre, Square One, Pickering Mall, North York Centre, umm... whatever is in Ajax).

Be kind to your environment and don't buy into the suburb lifestyle. It's not a healthy choice, regardless of what Macleans says.

13 years ago...

2005-12-05T15:25:00.000-05:00

...my grandpa died.

I was only 6 at the time (just turning six actually, the funeral was between my grandma's birthday and mine). I don't remember him too well. The one memory I do have stems from a camping trip we went on. My brother, my cousins and I all went camping with him and my grandma. We spilled a lot of stuff on the table. Cereal, soup, drinks, anything. I can't recall why we were so clumsy, but all of us kids were. So my grandpa made a sign. He made a lot of signs, so does my grandma. You can fiugre out anything in thier house becuase there are notes and signs everywhere: "Gas for the kawasaki" "Fuse for the kitchen" "Turn valve to the left to shut off the water" he even made a complete and detailed electrical drawing of the Christmas light set up.

This sign however was more of a challenge than information. It had list of 'number of spills' and a prize associated with each. If you didn't spill any more items you got something like 20 dollars (enough to buy the world when your six) and the prizes decreased as you spilled more. If you spilled more than 5 more times, all you got was a chew of gum. I thought it was joke prize, like saying you got an elephant, becuase really, who gives a chew of gum as a prize?

Needless to say, we all spilled over 5 more times (except for my cousin Andrew I think, I believe he got a dollar). When we got back from the trip, my grandpa gave me a peice of gum.

Not a very exciting memory. I have no idea why it stuck with me. It wasn't important, or overly emotional. My grandpa gave me a peice of gum.

I was working for my grandma today, getting stuff out of the attic, putting up the winter windows, etc. She got the mail and looked at one of the envelopes, it was from the Netherlands. It was a personal letter (as you could tell from the envelope), and my grandma began to wonder who she knew in the Netherlands. No one really.

But the weird thing was, when I looked at it, it was addressed to my grandpa, not Grandma. Some 13 years after he passed away, this lady has decided to mail him.

She didn't open it in front of me, and nor would I care to know what was written. But it was exciting, like something out of a movie.

Every great saga must end...

2005-11-30T21:50:00.000-05:00

So I know that you all have been following the Every Station Project religiously, wondering if I'll be able to make it, whether I'll be able to beat the odds and persevere, and 'why the heck is he doing this?'

Well tonight the story comes to a close. I collected the last 8 stations.

York Mills
Lawrence
Davisville
St. Clair
Summerhill
Rosedale
King
Union

What started out as a crazy dream has become a reality. I have visted all 69 stations in the system, and waited for a train at each one.

Notes on my travels:

-I began with the Sheppard Subway, to get a quick victory under my belt. I completed the whole line in 30 minutes.

-30 out of the 69 stations I have visted legitimately (not simply to get a tranfer, I acutally had reason to use the station)

-the BEST trip I went on was late one evening from Kenedy to St. George, after having done the Scarborough RT (and I needed a good trip to rid my mind of the ugly SRT, so it was well timed). I got on an H-4 (with the SWEET comfy benches) and had a front row view the whole way. I was one of about 4 people in the car. It was comfy, quiet, and relaxing.

-I did the whole system in 28 days.

-I took pictures at Dundas, Queen and King

-5 most visted stations (somewhat ordered from most to least)
College
Queen's Park
Dundas
Bloor/Younge
St George

-Nicest person: The lady who helped me find my direction when I acted like I was lost to make my taking of a transfer at
Lawrence West seem legitimate

-Weirdest person: The deaf man who randomly tried to get a girl's phone number in front of me. It was awkward...

-Scariest person: The VERY drunk man who sat across from me and sang Blueberry Hill, threatened to kill another passenger if he sat next to him, and asked me, "Whatch you lookin' at Red?"

-Pet peeves i developed:
people who stand in front of the Metropass turnstile
people who stand on the left side of the escalator
people who rush the doors and thus hold up the train

All in all, I recomend this experience. It's a fantastic way to pay for your metropass, and a great way to see the city and get to know the different areas.

B&W Photography

2005-11-30T02:55:00.000-05:00

I'm having a love affair with photogrpahy currently. I've spent a good chunk of time in the dark room as of late, being that my final pictures are due Friday (well, next friday, but I want to go home early).

Photos

So here they are. They'll only be up till this Friday. One of these days I'll get around to actually making a coherant site for all my film/photography work, but for now, this will have to do.

Consumerism is self-expression for the uncreative.

2005-11-28T18:40:00.000-05:00

So another long chat with Kaite at 2 in the morning yesterday.

Being university students, our minds are naturally set on money, or the lack of. Also figuring into this equation is the number of things we both purchase, but really don't need.

Example:

I saw a jacket at the Gap on the clearence rack for 50-some-odd dollars. It wasn't my size, and the design wasn't too exciting either. But it was marked down from 80-something. So I bought it. Why? It was the worst purchase I have made this semester. I didn't really need a jacket too much to finish it all off.

But here's the thing. How many people sit around and talk about this? How many of us talk about the evils of consumerism over a burger at McDonalds, or express how we need to stop spending as we pour out our wallets for clothes, alcohol, food, movies, etc.? Count me in those numbers, becuase I've done it a lot.

So here's the new plan. I will be itemizing all my purchases, from food to film supplies, and making an account of them. Not only that, I will share the account with others who will then keep me accountable. E.g., if I buy a book at Indigo, I have to account for why I bought the book, and how it will serve me.

Obvioulsy some expenses are clear cut. I bought milk today becuase I ran out of milk and need it for my ceral in the morning. I paid for my passport today becuase I need a passport when we go to New York.

Some are not though. I bought a Freshly Squeezed juice yesterday and drank it on the way to get a burrito and coke at Taco Villa. Did I need the juice? Perhaps, but then did I need the coke at taco villa? Obviously I didn't need both, and wasted 2 dollars.

I guess this can be one those 'try this at home' things if you want. If you actually do it, let me know how it goes.

Water water everywhere.

2005-11-28T03:08:00.000-05:00

Scott Adams is a genius. Read his blog here.

He does a post on Bottled water. It's brilliant.

A thought response to a lady who was sampling a cheaper brand of bottled water than Mr. Adam's was buying, and questioned him on his market purchase:
"If I'm dumb enough to buy water, then I'm dumb enough to pay too much for it."

As one who currenlty has a case and a half of bottled water in his closet, and has already been through 2 cases in the past 3 months, I can fully comprehend his thought pattern.

On a differnt subject, I've noted how students in a BFA program are completely incapable of doing complex math equations (I, worst of all).

These are a few examples of math problems that have left us stumpped for periods of longer than 3 minutes:

-If each roll of film costs $60 to purchase and develop, how much does three rolls of film cost?
-If I have 200 sheets of paper I need to split up between 6 people, how many sheets does each person get?
-If I pay $70 for a product and split it 5 ways, how much does each person pay?

Sadly, not all of us are as smart and witty as engineers.

I honestly can't think of a title...

2005-11-26T00:33:00.000-05:00

Winter has come, and for the first time I'm happy about it.

Every year it comes, and every year it marks a real low point in my year. I generally chock it up to SAD, but of course that's just a shot in the dark. This year, however, I'm almost excited about it. Toronto is one beautiful city, and the snow adds to it. Right now, Dundas Square is all lit up for Christmas, the Eaton's Centre has their giant tree up, the quad is covered in a fresh blanket, and people have all brought out thier winter jackets. I like winter jackets for some reason. I don't know why, but often when I see a person in their winter jacket, it's one of the stronger images I retain for some reason. Couldn't tell you what kind of shirts or pants they own, but I can usually place the winter jackets.

Today was one of those continually brilliant days, where nothing was over-the-top fantastic, but everything just fell into place in a really nice and enjoyable way. I had my history tutorial this morning, which got me up at 10. I wasn't keen on going, but was so glad I went. I love the prof for that class. She's witty and is able to bring out so much in discussion. I think I'm really going to miss those tutorials.

I went to the Hub for lunch, for what I assumed would be lunch by myself, since no one else is in my history tutorial, but everyone was there for some reason (turns out a lot of people have their liberal studies class on friday morning). I think one of things I hate most is eating by myself. Eating is a communal activity, that we are unlucky enough to have to do by ourselves most often. Twice in my life have I eaten at a restaurant by myself (both times they were a mexican restaurant, people just don't like to eat mexican with me for some reason...) I really didn't enjoy the experience. Try sitting there with no one to talk to, and have a person wait on you. It's just weird.

Tools and Apps was a workshop today on printing and enlarging. I didn't do too well at first. My contact sheets were useless, but eventually I got the hang of it. I was in the room with the printer, which really streamlined the process. I really enjoyed doing it though. I was there for an extra hour or so just trying to get 3 solid prints. I think what else I liked was the fact that this was SO new to me. I've never done anything like it, and consequently know nothing about it. This brought me outside my bubble and forced me to (gasp) ask for help!!!

Much thanks to you Karen, by the way!

Dinner was going to be another lone affair at Pitman hall, when I ran into Levi and his floor-mate. So once again I was saved from the awkwardness of having to read the paper while eating. Not sure what the draw at Pitman Hall was, as the ILLC is a much better cafeteria, though that's not saying much, since I can't imagine anyone being drawn to any of the cafeterias out of something other than neccessity.

Finally I went home to work on design a bit, and head to bed. I kinda wanted to go see Everything is Illuminated, but interest was lacking.

All this isn't to say that my life is of any real interest, but just that I love this city, I love this program, and most of all, I love the people here. I'm told I'm a bit withholding when it comes to showing that, but I do. If we eat together, sit together, work together, critique each other, or build each other up, then considered yourself loved.

I think that's a good way to end this post.

So close...

2005-11-26T00:15:00.000-05:00

More Stations:

Dundas West
Lansdowne
Dufferin
Ossington
Christe
Wilson
Lawrence West
Glencarin
Eglinton West
St. Clair West

This only leaves me with 8 stations left to go.

A few notes so far:

-While I terms this the Every Station Project, that is perhaps a bit of a misnomer. A true 'Every Stationer' actually does something at each station, takes a picture, makes a sketch, goes outside and grabs a souveneir, etc.

-What I'm doing over 1 month has actually been done in 10 hours once.

-In rush hour and in the summer months, the T-1 trains (the newest) are easily the best and most comfortable, being that they are air-conditioned and have the most room.

-My preference though is in fact the oldest trains on the system, the H-4 trains. They have orange padded benches that are SO comfortable. I honestly almost didn't get off once becuase I loved the seats. They're the best at night if you are crossing the city.

-I have been in the system twice when a person has killed themselves (both times they did it at Ossington)

-I have, on three occasions, been able to enter the system without showing any proof of payment. This is easily done if you carry a large bag and have to use the middle gates at subway stations. Dishonest though, and you should make a point of showing the collector your metropass regardless.

Favourite Stations (in no order)
-Eglinton: The original tiles that were installed in 1954 are still there. They are actually really beautiful, white and made of glass
-Castle Frank: The Rotunda is amazing
-St Clair West: It's so dated, but the archetecture is crazy. You decend into the middle of this open expanse underground where busses and streetcars come. I thought it was neat. An elevator in the middle decending into a circle of gates comprising the fare area. It's also one of 2 stations where you can stand above a subway train and see it enter, which I think is neat.
-Bloor: With no poles or barriers between the two tracks, and an deeper platform, this station looks gigantic.
-College: Because it's my station!!!

Leat Favourite (again, no order)
-Ossington: While I can't imagine actually seeing a suicide here, it has a reputation, and I was really uncomfortable on the platform becuase of it
-Scarborough RT (the whole thing): What can I say? It's ugly, it's inefficient, and the stations are crap. It was easily my least enjoyable excursion when I did it.
-Glencarin: It's total 70's, and the brown/orange scheme reminds me of vomiting up carrots. And I don't like carrots.
-Pape: I thought I'd like this one, but it really smelled bad, and was really unclean.
-Spadina: Only becuase I HATE walking the distance between platmorms (it's about a kilometer, the longest fare-paid walk in the system)

Jesus Christ, Superstore

2005-11-24T03:12:00.000-05:00

Not a 'hard hitting' revolutionary article, but worth a read:

When Hollywood stopped making Bible movies

It goes into the reasons why such talentless works can be so popular and do so well in Christian sub-culture, using the Left Behind series as an example.

I also want to make something clear, which may not be from reading this blog. I spend a lot of time critiquing the church, Christianity, and religion. My hope is that this isn't confused with critiquing Jesus, or the Bible. For me, the two are very separate. I wish this weren't so, but unfortunately 'Christianity' and religion have not been the better examples of what Christ actually taught. It is riddled with hypocrisy, exclusivity, and an unloving attitude.

But in NO way can I speak out against the actual teachings of Jesus. He wasn't the prude we may think of when we think of Christians, who looks down on all those around him. He was sincere in his love for people, not superficial. Bruxy Cavy spoke on this a while ago, and I think he hit it right on the nose. He came to tear down these religions that hold us in bondage. But not just religion, all these things that keep us down.

So while I often try and bring to light things that are wrong with Christianty (and I confess to being very much a part of these things, I've read a lot of the Left Behind books too, and have purchased my fair share of medicore music), I think it's so important to see what's right about it. And honestly, just look into the life of Jesus. Pretty much all of what's right can be found in what He said.

(And by 'pretty much,' I mean, everything. Beginning and end.)

Do I like Will Ferrell?

2005-11-24T01:55:00.000-05:00

That's the question that has been haunting me recently. Sometimes he does great things, other times I want to poke an eye out. That being said, here's some films I've watched recently.

Elf
This made me re-evaluate Will Ferrell. It's such a stock film, unbelievably predictable, but still cute and funny. Will actually brings a lot to this film. He takes a mundane script and does some neat stuff with it.
I watched this one with the TCF crew, and I've always been of the impression that watching movies in a larger group can make them seem better. If I watched this film by myself, first, that would be very sad, and second, I don't know if I'd find it as appealing.

Ocean's Eleven
I actually did watch this movie by myself... I bought it a while ago, when I needed a thrid DVD to get the deal. How on earth can they afford such a cast? I can't believe the names. I was actually really surprised at how much I enjoyed this movie. There was a lot of B reel footage in it for some reason. I noticed a lot of useless cuts to useless shots. That aside, the end hiest was well concieved. And that's really all that matter in a movie like this. All you need is a good idea on how to rob a vault, and then build your movie around it. Italian Job did it, the Score did it, it's a standard plot.

True Stories
So we only saw a clip from this movie. But man, I want to see more. It's based on all these stories out of the tabloids. I really can't say much more than that, since I didn't see it all. John Goodman was pretty good from what I saw, and there was a fashion show that blew me away with style.

Garbage in Garbage out

2005-11-20T01:09:00.000-05:00

My pastor spoke a sermon on this line a while ago. And that prooves very true. I don't know what I was thinking with the post that this one replaces, but I'm thankful to have people who are willing to be honest with me when they see me stumble.

I went to Passion Toronto this evening. It was an excellent time of learning and worship. The speaker made some really strong attempts to remind how small we are, and how HUGE God is. He took us through a lot of astonomy, and ended with the picture here. It's some odd million light years away in a whir-pool galaxy. But a stunning image don't you think?

Also, David Crowder is easily the most talented Christian artist, or even secualr artist, out there. He put on one amazing concert.

The Magic of Hitchcock

2005-11-19T18:00:00.000-05:00

Another week of film school. I heard about Tisch from Karen this week. It's a super prestigious film school, costing thousands in tuition, and YET it is modeled after Ryerson apparently. After recieving pretty bad grades in Macleans, it's good that I can be proud of something with my school.

So this week's roundup:

Vertigo
What can be said? It is such a well conceived movie. Well written, well acted, well shot, well lit, well edited. I like this film becuase it doesn't feel like it was made 50 years ago. It looks more like a modren day 'period peice.'

Of particular note are the 'forward zoom, reverse tracking' shots, or the contra-zooms. To me, it's one of the most stunning examples of the technology of film and optics enhancing the feeling of the shot. The shot down the centre of the bell tower is perfect in my mind ($19,000 for that one shot, it better be!). It's a perfect angle, simple, capturing all the details and creating an interesting composition. And the motion creates just the right kinesthetic feeling.

Go rent this film. Seriously. Even if you've already seen it.

Jarhead
Before there is ANY more confusion, this is NOT a comedy. For some reason I was under the impression it was, and then my friend who saw it said 'he laughed a lot' which further solidified this idea. I thought 'Jarhead, that's a funny name. Must be a comedy!'

No. It's about senselessness of the gulf war.

Has some beautiful shots in it, the oil fields in flames being my favourite.

I say, wait for the DVD, and then wait for some 'guys night out' to help disolve the cost of rental

ESP update

2005-11-16T14:28:00.000-05:00

Stations since the last update:

St. Andrew
St Patrick
Yorkdale
Dupont
Kipling
Islington
Royal York
Old Mill
Jane
Runnymede
High Park
Keele
Sherbourne
Castle Frank
Broadview
Chester
Pape
Donlands
Greenwood
Woodbine
Main Street
Victoria Park
Warden

72.4% done. What a marvelous waste of time!

Get your tats

2005-11-15T01:23:00.000-05:00

I thought this was neat.

I'm a particular fan of the one to the right. If ever I feel the need to get a tatoo, I'd get somehting like that.

This is a tragic story. Plate accidents kill over 1 Americans every year.

(that's not an actual fact, what IS a fact is that pens actually kill on average 6 people every year)

P.S.: New blog layout obviously. I thought this one was a llittle less busy. Sorry I haven't redone the links yet. They're a comin.

Guh.

2005-11-12T18:41:00.000-05:00

Article that must be read

“Regardless of what the New Testament says, most Christians are materialists with no experience of the Spirit. Regardless of what the New Testament says, most Christians are individualists with no real experience of community. Let’s pretend that you were all Christians. If you were Christians, you would no longer accumulate. You would share everything you had. You would actually love one another. And you would treat each other as if you were family. Why don’t you do that? Why don’t you live that way?”

He goes on to talk about our incredibly self centred attitudes, not just in daily life and how we as Christians are so reluctant to actually give up our pursuit of objects and possesions, but also in our spiritual lives, somehow thinking Christianity is all about us.

I was at a conference most of this weekend, the Promise Keepers 2005 Awakening, and this could be seen in spades (both in myself and in the nature of the conference). Men from all over Canada go there, buy up a tonne of books, sing a tonne of songs, all expecting to be 'filled,' as though thier spirituality and relationship with Jesus and with others was nothing but a cup that occasionally needed to be topped off. And what does that say? We buy the books for ourselves expecting to be 'blessed' by reading them, and sing songs expecting to get a certain 'godly feeling.'

It's crap.

Worse (or possibly better), was the irony behind what the speakers were saying. Some of them touched on these point exactly. K.P. Yohannan, in his sermon, talked about this directly. He really attacked us for being so selfish and not thinking about others, for only going after this 'godly feeling' and for buying all of these countless Christian Self-Help books.

His words were revolutionary, I thought. But right after he left the stage, the announcer came out and 'directed us to the resource tent where we could purchase our 'dog tags,' stock up on t-shirts and hats, and buy K.P Yohannan's books -- I'll be clear on this though. Yohannan's books are NOT the cheap self-help. They are deeply convicting works that call us to give up our lives. If you want to read one, I've got his "Road to Reality" that I'd be happy to lend out.

Bruxy Cavey also spoke with another truly revolutionary sermon about how Christ came to abolish religion, and instead we've made a religion out of Him. He talked about the stumbling block that is 'religious dogma' and 'church tradition.' And yet, here we are, at Promise Keepers, one of the most institutionalized conference I've ever been to (and by institutionalized, I mean, they don't stray from a pattern that they feel 'get's them to god' and thus gets stuck in tradition).

If you don't go to church becuase you can't stand the hypocrasy, great! Jesus can't stand it either. If you don't go becuase you can't deal with the all the 'religion' to it, great. Jesus can't either. If you're holding off on the whole Christian thing becuase of the judgementalism, the superiority complex, the ridiculous social cohesion, perfect. You're more Christ-like than many people who are sitting in the pews.

Sleep, no I never get enough

2005-11-11T02:36:00.000-05:00

Just had a great conversation with Kaite at 2:30 in the morning.

Those kinds of convos are the best things to fill up the soul.

If you've never had one, call 1-41-NO-HAGIS-1.

More for your viewing pleasure:

2005-11-08T23:52:00.000-05:00

I, Worst of All
Don't let the tagline or the rating fool you. This movie has nothing to do with lesbian nuns, and there is indeed no nudity or nothing even 'questionable' about this film.
That being said, it could have used something.
I just finished writing my paper on this film, and I think I've spent all the time I want to with it. It tells the tale of the extraordinary Spanish writer, Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz. She was a nun who wrote beautiful poetry (I think, I only read it in Spanish).
The film focuses mainly on femminism, which is interesting, since Sor Juana's life, though marked by the usual inequality one may find between men and women in Colonial Mexico, was for more driven by dichotamy between the religious and the secular.
What is most depressing about this film is where the director ends it, after Sor Juana has signed her renunciation of her secular works. We leave feeling angry and upset that she was forced to do this (though historically, it's questionable whether she was foreced). We get no glimpse into the truly exemplary life she led afterwards. She turned in to the Mother Theresa of 18th century Mexico.

But no one wants to hear about that I guess.

Words

2005-11-08T01:49:00.000-05:00

"The right word at the right time
is like a custom made piece of jewelry,
And a wise friend's timely repremand
is like a gold ring slipped on your finger."
-Proverbs 25: 11-12

A lot of you may know the story of how I ended up taking film at Ryerson. For those that don't, here's the recap:

My first year of highschool I finally figured out what the Christian thing was all about, and like many new Christians, I was sure that I was going to be a pastor. By grade ten, I'd mapped out my route. I was going to go to U of T to get my undergrad, then to Knox College to get my Doctor of Divinity (I was going to go all the way for no other reason than to have Dr. as my title). I even had the brochures.

In grade eleven however, my friend Kaite sat me down and took me task on it. "You're going to be a minster? Alright... here's the thing. You suck at that."

When I told this to some people, they felt bad for me for some reason, assming I must have been upset at these hurtful words. When I reminded Kaite of it years later, she even appologized. But this was (in my life) the best example of this proverb. Her words were the perfect words at just the right time. And it truly changed the course of my life (after living life aimlessly for a while after that, she told me how film was probably where I should be headed, and once she said that, I realized how that's where I was already headed anyway).

But when I was reading this verse tonight, I began thinking about the reverse of this. The wrong words at the wrong time. Or even the right words at the wrong time. Since if Kaite had waited or told me sooner, I might have actually been upset (for the record, I was never upset or hurt by what she said. It just made sense to me when I heard it. I did suck at it!).

I feel like this is an important issue, since words are so often the majority of our relationships with people. We call our friends up on the telephone, we go out for dinner and conversation, we sit next to each other and talk in class. Are we being careful about what we say to each other? Am I watching what sorts of jokes I make, or what sort of advice I give, or whether I need to say anything at all to someone, or do I need to go out of my way to speak to someone? There are a lot of ifs.

I think I've been made more aware of this the past few days. A few people have just been giving me the wrong words lately. And it's not that what they are saying is 'bad' or even 'good,' Sometimes it's been as simple as a hello at the wrong time, or a lack of hello at the right time.

Even on a slightly larger scale, it is crucial that we think about what we're saying. I witnessed a friend of mine suffer for months becuase he let a joke slip that he shouldn't have. It nearly tore two friends apart, and caused issues among more. He felt bad and continues to fell bad about this one thing he said.

And certainly I see myself as one of the worst culprits in this crime. A week or so ago, I missed out on spending time with some friends eating curry, simply becuase I didn't even bother to step out of my way to say hello to them. And when I do go out of my way to speak, I don't watch what I say as closely as I should either. A month or so ago, I really hurt someone with the advice I gave. I believe it was good advice, but I delievered it in the worst way.

This is one of those tall order things I think. The Bible says to stop sinning, but we really can't see ourselves doing it, so we think it's alright in small amounts. The Bible says we need to watch our tounges and speak always out of love, but I have such a hard time picturing me do it, that I'm happy just improving for a week or so, then going back to old habits. And I hate complacency.

That's it for now. I hope these were the right words at the right time.

2005-11-06T03:01:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across this site today. Kind of depressing that almost all of the shirt designs are just copies of famous brands logos. So not only can I be un-original, I can also support Coca Cola and it's human rights infringements.

In response to a shirt seen at a Christian conference that reads: "I like Christian Boys", my friend Paul proposes a shirt that reads: "I know God has someone prepared for me, so I'm just going to calm down for now."

Stations of the day:
Finch
North York Centre
Spadina

The Every Station Project

2005-11-05T00:58:00.000-05:00

A tiny update:

I made quite the killing tonight. Covered the whole Scarborough RT, got the two major transfer stations, the end of the spadina line, and the previous end to the Younge line (Eglinton). I've got the transfers for 29% of the stations. (20 out of 69)

Score Card Update (since last post):

Downsview
Bathurst
St. George
Bloor/Younge
College
Dundas
Eglinton
Coxwell
Kennedy
Lawrence East
Ellesmere
Midland
Scarborough Centre
McCowan

All the things you wanted to know but never asked.

2005-11-04T16:41:00.000-05:00

Crucial to this post, is that you copy this and write your own answers in the comments.

1. smoked a cigar - no
2. crashed a friend's car - no, crashed my parents car though, twice, and they are friendly people.
3. stolen a car - not yet...
4. been in love - 'in' love, no, but I like to think I love a lot
5. been dumped - eh, yeah. It's been so long since I've dated anyone, I don't really count it.
6. dumped someone - eh, again, see above.
7. taken shots of alcohol - yes, and have the pictures to prove it.
8. been fired – about a hundred time from Knox Daycamp. I kept coming back though.
9. been in a fist fight - I punched my brother in the face three times during our childhood. Bad call.
10. snuck out of a/your house - I don't think I've ever 'snuck' out.
11. had feelings for someone who didn't have them back- yes
12. been arrested - not yet...
13. made out with a stranger - nope.
14. gone on a blind date - kind of. It wasn't really a date. But she was supposedly the woman of my dreams. She wasn't in fact...
15. lied to a friend - not that I can recall, but I'm inclinced to say yes.
16. had a crush on a teacher- yes
18. seen someone die - I saw someone almost die. That was scary.
19. been on a plane - yes, but only twice.
20. thrown up in a bar - no
22. miss someone right now - yes!! Parents, friends, my dog.
23. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by - all the time. I love it.
24. made a snow angel - yes
25. played dress up - yes
26. cheated while playing a game - yes
27. been lonely - yes
28. fallen asleep at work/school - I pride myself on having never fallen asleep. There have been some close calls though
29. used a fake id - I was fortuneate enough to turn 19 very early, so never had to.
30. felt an earthquake - nope.
31. touched a snake - gah... no
32. run a red light - late at night, the stoplight by my house takes forever to change.
33. had detention - nope.
34. been in a car accident - yes
35. hated the way you look - yes, in fact just this morning I was thinking how badly I need a haircut
37. been lost - yes
38. been to the opposite side of the country - no
39. felt like dying - yes
40. cried yourself to sleep - I try not to let the sun set on my anger. Hasn't always worked.
41. played cops and robbers - I don't think so...
42. karaoke - once. "Walk like an Egyptian" with Alaina
43. done something you told yourself you wouldn't - all the time.
44. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose- yup
45. caught a snowflake on your tongue - yes
46. kissed in the rain - no
47. sang in the shower - like pavarati!
48. made love in a park - can't say so yet.
49. had a dream that you married someone - yeah, a few times
50. glued your hand to something - no
51. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - no
52. worn the opposite sex's clothes - um...
53. Been a cheerleader – nope
54. sat on a roof top - yes
55. talked on the phone all night - not all night, but for a while.
56. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone – I never really watch them.
57. played chicken fight - yes. Great times.
58. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - kind of. I sort of did it on my own accord
59. been told you're hot by a complete stranger - actually, I was on the subway the other night, and this older lady began raving about how much she loved my red hair. She had really hariy knuckles.
60. broken a bone - no
62. dipped snuff? - I'm not totally sure what that means.
63. lived overseas - no
64. Ever passed out/fainted? - no, came close once, on a really hot day.
65. blown bubbles in the wintertime - no... but good idea!
66. slept in your car? - I did it a lot when i went to Trent.
67. given money to a stranger? - yeah a few times. more often I give them food
68. forgot your birthday? - never. And I don't let other people forget it either.
69. forgot your best friend's birthday? - nope
70. been in the presence of the Pope or the President? - I met Jean Cretien. He was kinda like the pope.
71. failed a test? - no
72. failed a class? - no
73. accurately predicted a future event? - yes
74. slept overnight in a hospital without being a patient? - yes. it was hard, since we slept on the floor, but reminded me how special the people in that room are to me.
75. realized a dream? - yes

Tools and Apps (2)

2005-11-04T00:28:00.000-05:00

So I did a second shoot for my tools and applications project. These aren't all of the pics I submitted, and I also didn't submit some of these pics. The ones you don't see were too dark to begin with (since it was an exposure test), and I could only hand in a certain number of 'extra' pics, so I had to be selective in what made it into the 'experiment' section.

RIght now, this links to my computer, which the IP address might change. If it does, let me know! And also, let me know if you know of any free web-hosting where I might put pics such as these, or movies and stuff.

The Good Photos

Transit Trouble?

2005-11-02T23:08:00.000-05:00

So this is my score card thus far.

I intended to get quite a few more, I had plans to get College, Osgoode, St. Patrick, Spadina and St. George this evening. But there was some kind of catastrophy.

I got on at Wellesley to head for Staples between Osgoode and St. Patrick, made it to Queen station (which *sigh* I already have), when the train stopped. "Track level injury at Ossington" was the cause.

But this deeply concerned me for a few reasons. One being that a 'track level injury' undoubtedly means someone committed suicide, throwing themself on the tracks. This is unfortuneately not an unncommon occurance. This is the second time in two months that I've been in the system when this kind of warning has come over the PA. Naturally, people get a little tense and a little down when they hear this announcement.

But, for those that know the Toronto Subway, I was at Queen Station on the Younge Line. Ossington is on the Bloor Line. The lines don't interconnect (anymore). Normally, when there is something of this nature service is disrupted on the line where the incident occurs. Last time, I was on the same line as the incident, and had to wait about 15 minutes for a train. But the TTC shut down the entire system. We were all told to leave the train and find a bus or streetcar.

So something very bad happened at Ossington, but as per the TTC tight lipped policy, I doubt anyone will ever hear about it.

f-Stop

2005-11-02T18:41:00.000-05:00

The slides are back, and this is an example of one of the pictures. Jules is a fanstastic model/actress, and I love working with her. I can make a big deal with her about the placement of her hand, or how I think her head should be tilted about half a degree to the left, or something, and she never complains! And truly, some of the demands I've placed on her are almost unreasonable (if I haven't said it before, sorry for almost making you pass out during our Pandora's Box shoot...). Jules, you are any and every director's dream!

In other news, I actually started my journey towards membership in the "Every Station" club. I wanted to get a big enough victory under my belt first, so I did the whole Sheppard line, stopping at each station to get the transfer of proof. I also got Queen station on the Younge line, but the downtown ones are easy. It's the Bloor-Danforth that scares me. 31 stations in total, and I've only actually been to 12 of them before on rare circumstance (aside from the major transfer ones).

So the official list as of today:

Don Mills
Leslie
Bessarion
Bayview
Sheppard/Younge
Queen

I know what you did...

2005-11-01T12:07:00.000-05:00

More and more people are coming to me and saying 'hey, I read your blog!' Which is great, since that's not evident when no one leaves comments (I really appreciate them people!). So I got curious and added a little number tracker.

Some neat stats:

-Everyone who reads this speaks english!
-Chacun qui lit ceci parle anglais!
-Jeder, das dieses liest, spricht Englisch
-Каждое читает это говорит английскую язык
-58.33% of you use Mac OS X (right on baby!)
-70% use cable internet, 50% rogers 20% cogeco
-The most used browsers (from greatest to least): Safari (54%) Firefox (20%) IE (20%) Opera (6%)
-1280x1024 is the most used screen resolution

All for now.

The Roundup:

2005-10-31T15:05:00.000-05:00

Berlin: Symphony of a Big City
We watched the first part of it, the train entrance into Berlin. Some really great shots. Often we've been told that shooting vehicles doesn't create great motion, but this film certainly did. Aside from that, it was neat to see Berlin post-WW1 and pre-WW2.

Bronenosets Potyomkin
A very moving sequence. So many people died, and unlike many other movies, you really feel it. It seems odd, becuase some of the acting is way over the top, but you still feel what's going on. Apparently the sequence we watched wasn't in the original script, but came about while they were shooting the movie. Now I understand it's the most famous sequence of the film.

Metropolis
I saw the animé version of this one first, and was surprised at how exact the anime version was to this one. The sets and effects in this movie are stunning for the time. The acting was once again way over-the-top. All the early films really draw their acting straight from the theatre, with big facial expressions and everything emphasized. I particularly like the useless machines the people run. One is a circle with three hands in the middle, surrounded by lightbulbs. The operater simply points the hands to the lights that turn on. Apparently this is a gruelling task...

The Song Beneath me

2005-10-31T00:25:00.000-05:00

This song was used by the speaker at Freedomize this evening, and I was stunned at how exact of an image it paints of Christians and Christianity. "Always willing, never able." That to me is the definition of modern Christianity. Am I very much a victim of this? More so than many I think.

How many churches want to feed the world, get rid of poverty, help the homeless, and much more? We set out with the best of intentions, but our 'misitry' is so boxed by our complacency. Again, I'm convicting myself as I write this. We are so happy to be dissatisfied. We pray for these big things, never expecting anything, and make a bigger deal of it, when only a portion is given. If you're a Christian reading this, how many of our personal prayers are like this: "I pray for the city of Toronto," "I pray for so-and-so," or "I raise up such-and-such." What exactly are we praying for, and what exactly do we expect? The words "I pray for" seem just as meaningless in prayer as saying to a friend in conversation, "I'm talking to you about this person" and then saying nothing more on the subject.

Perhaps that's a little too critical. There is the implied meaning that when we pray "I pray for..." we're actually saying something like: "give good things to..." or "help out with this..." or "comfort this person..." or "bring 'revival' to..." (I'll leave the topic of 'revival' to another day, but bring it up here only as an accurate example). So we are thinking that we are actually praying something specific, and not just blowing our wind at God.

But let me focus on the one example I brought up. A church I went to a few times in Toronto seemed to weekly pray the words: "We pray for the city of Toronto," and left it at that. Now the implied meaning was that God would 'move' in Toronto and bring all the things that come when God moves, revival, blessings, repentance, and a host of other 'Christianese' terms.

So did they actually expect revival? Or repentance? Come on. We pray it expecting God to do nothing. It would seem impossible that God would ACTUALLY listen to this, fix all of the problems in Toronto, and by next week we see 4 million people in churches in the city. Not this IS impossible, but certainly to us it seems that way.

And since we expect God to do nothing, we are overjoyed when He decides to give us more than our expectations, perhaps we get a new member at church, or the collection goes a little better than expected the next week.

Which brings me back to the line that moved me so much. "Always willing, never able." That's me to a 'T'. I write this, knowing that the response to what I've written is to actually expect God to do things (becuase He said He would, if we asked Him), to actually help other people, and love them with everything I have. And I'm terrible at this. And I don't feel like I'm the only one. People are justified when they make harsh comments regarding the 'good' the church has done. That's a terrible thing, and it shouldn't be like that.

Standing in the Rain

2005-10-30T21:13:00.000-05:00

Chorus:
Standing in the rain, knocking on the window
Knocking on the window on a Christmas Day
There he is again, knocking on the window
Knocking on the window in the same old way

No use knocking on the window
There is nothing we can do, sir
All the beds are booked already
There is nothing left for you, sir

No use knocking on the window
Some are lucky, some are not, sir
We are Christian men and women
But we're keeping what we've got, sir

No we haven't got a manger
No we haven't got a stable
We are Christian men and women
Always willing, never able

Christ the Lord has gone to heaven
One day he'll be coming back, sir
In this house he will be welcome
But we hope he won't be black, sir

Wishing you a merry Christmas
We will now go back to bed, sir
Till you woke us with your knocking
We were sleeping like the dead, sir

Lyrics by Sydney Carter

Drunk City

2005-10-29T02:18:00.000-04:00

I think I just took part in a very special thing, and I wish I'd realized it at the time. Got back into Peterborough this eve, went out to the Saphire Lounge with Kaite and the MUN people, went back to Lainy's, and come midnight went to a Halloween Scaryotype party (I went as a rugby player, since that's what I already had on)

So the party was hosted by the Drunk City people. Apparently they are a legitmately run commune in Peterborough, with artists, writers, students, etc. You have a job you pay rent, you don't, someone else pays it for you. They were described as a group of 'geniuses, who sit around and drink all day.' And upon talking to them, I think that was fairly true. A number of people were smashed when I got there. I had whole convo with a guy about the music industry and the film industry after he'd just taken a funnel. He was kinda in and out, but mostly in, so it was a fruitful talk.

Apparently they don't give out the names of memebers, the location of the commune, or anything really. But I didn't know that till after, so I feel kind of 'honoured' to have been a part of this. Check out their galleries if you want. I think some are a little inappropriate, so if find some stuff offensive, don't say I didn't warn you.

In other news, I'm going to Model UN tomorrow, which I'm really looking forward to. Don't know what I'll be doing exactly, probably Crisis stuff for the Security Council. Apprently bombing a few trains in Dennmark, and maybe an Ethiopian war are on the agenda. And then...

ALAINA TURNS 19 AT LAST!!!

Happy Birthday!

Outreach?

2005-10-27T21:33:00.000-04:00

So I think Artie is in need of some new strings. I can't remember the last time I replaced them. It seems kinda useless though, becuase I never play him except when I'm alone, so I'm the only one that ever hears him. All the same though, I think he deserves new strings.

He went through a little 'phase' of always going out of tune a month or two ago, but he seems to have grown out of it, and now keeps it together pretty well (except for his B stirng, but he's always been like that, and I've no idea why).

In other news, I got nominated to be Outreach Co-ordinator for IVCF. I agreed to let my name stand so now I have to start thinking about some outreach things.

Inspired by Dave B (since it seems this entire blog is living in his shadow), I was wondering about something akin to his "Theology Pub" but a little less exclusive to Christians. Basically, replace deep theological discussion with discussion loosely centered around something in the Bible. I think there's a lot of stuff in it that people love/hate/agree with/disagree with/etc., and it should be discussed! Example: Why the heck is God so 'murder-y' in the Old Testement? I don't know really. I'd like to though. The idea is that people can come, drink, talk about their own situations, struggles and journeys, and hopefully go away with a little more understanding, and a little more nachos in their belly.

So honestly, let me know what you think about this. Is this at ALL a good idea? I don't know, and I'm open to suggestion. If you're not a 'Christian' (and maybe we can talk about why I dislike that word at on of these things), leave a comment! And be harsh. If you think this is a petty, useless, offensive, narrow-minded converting tool, please let me know. Most of all, would you be interested in going to one of these things? KEY question. Worst thing would be to go ahead with it and end up with a bunch of Christians sitting at bar drinking root-beer patting ourselves on the back for our efforts. There's already enough of that.

Feel free to disagee

2005-10-26T20:15:00.000-04:00

USE that comment button people! If you've seen any films I talk about, put in your own two cents. Or if they remind you of any films, talk about them (include a link to IMDB too if you can). If I write something you disagree with, comment on how wrong I am so that I can use my deleting powers. If you just want to talk about the wonders of Rising Crust pizza, feel free as well. I hate seeing '0 comments.'

Today's Gem:

2005-10-26T19:43:00.000-04:00

If you had told me when I got out of bed today that my life would be enhanced on this day, I might not have believed you. Today, as a turning point no doubt in my entire career in film, I watched Michael Snow's Wavelength. You may know Michael Snow from his sculputres at the Skydome, or in the Eaton's Centre (I personally did not, and didn't even realize that those items were 'high art' so much as archetechtural accents).

One can only describe this film as 'moving,' in that it takes 45 minutes to move across a room (rougly 15 feet I imagine). BUT, and this is why the peice is so 'artistic,' we aren't actually moving at all. We are in fact sitting reletively still in our seats for the duration, save our fidgetting and gasps for life about 15 minutes in (which you will realize we have only travelled about 5 feet at that point). Nor is the film itself really moving... it is a formalist look at the ZOOM lens (ahh!), so the camera stays stationary. This means, that neither us, nor the camera is moving for 45 minutes. Yes that is correct. 45 minutes of nothing.

The only 'movement' you find here is the flim reel which we can equate to about 2,250 feet of film (2 minutes of film = approx. 100 feet). Now for all you Ryerson film students who read this (which I won't kid myself into thinking is that many), let's do some MORE math, even though we are BFAs. If 2 minutes of film, or 100' costs $24 to buy, and $39 to process, that means that this film in total cost................... (Drumroll soundeffects)........... $1417.50.

$1417.50

And I feel bad when I spend more than $10 on a meal. This guy just threw it into the wind.

Spolier for those who will actually watch this film (if my warning wasn't enough)

The actual point of the film, I percieve, is to be the worlds longest, and worst timed pun. The film is called 'Wavelength,' and indeed, over an extensive length of time, it eventually zooms in to a picture of waves. Who knew this guy was a comedian? Three quarters of an hour to get to the punch line. Perhaps this is why he never got his own sitcom.

All-Bran

2005-10-25T01:39:00.000-04:00

Being in a film program, naturally many of us have worked with video before, and involved ourselves in other artistic endeavours. I've been seeing and hearing some stuff that other people have done and I've truly been floored. People here are amazing. The kind of work that they have put out is phenominal.

-In design class, one of my friends has put together some of the most amazing peices. Her art has been shown around, so I understand, and with good cause. Even though the prof seems to disagree with her on everything, her work speaks for itself. I guess 'he KNOWS that she gets it.'

-Two guys from my film prod class put together films on Archetechture for their first assignment, and the stuff they got back was phenominal. From these beautiful sweeping building shots, to these minute details that make their rushes look great.

-Another guy did a project for Skills Ontario (I'd never heard of it), and in 3 hours put together a commercial for eggs that was equal to or greater than ones on TV.

-One girl in my class has wokred tirelessly to come up with great footage (yeah, she shot a few times...) But all those efforts paid off. Her film shows such a refinement now.

In the wake of this, I think "Yeah, I had goo rushes for my last shoot, but that was a total accident."

[p.s.: the title has nothing to do with this post. It's just a name I saw when I looked around my room. Reminded me I need to buy some more All Bran through...]

Thought's from Pascal

2005-10-24T01:59:00.000-04:00

"I wonder at the hardihood with which such persons undertake to talk about God. In a treatise addressed to infidels they begin with a chapter proving the existence of God from the works of Nature... this only gives their readers grounds for thinking that the proofs of our religion are very weak... It is a remarkable fact that no canonical writer has ever used Nature to prove God."

In fact, when I try and think of how the canonical writer tried to prove God, I notice that they didn't really try. It was just evident from their works. Now this can perhaps be taken with a grain of salt, since their was very little athiesm at the time, so there was less of a need to 'prove' God as it were.

Joe Boot said something powerful to this, and he speaks in a british accent, so it was very credible and intelligent. He explained how the search for God is often not a search to FIND God, but a search to prove nothing was ever there in the first place. People look for God out of spite, in hopes that they won't find him and can finaly lay Him to rest (speaking as one whose tried that road). Is it any wonder that these people find nothing, when they search with that as their goal?

I guess we try and 'not look' for God for a number of reasons, control being a big one. I myself have these huge control issues, and can imagine that others might as well. I like to own my life, the things around me, have my own fun, etc. Often I'm less excited to take responsibility for my choices, but I like having my own choice nonetheless.

I think people are afraid of an overwhelming conviction as well. Again, I as a Christian still can't imagine what it would be like if God laid out all my crap at once in front of me. But for the seeker, if they find God, what does God say to them? "You suck, but let's be friends?"

And then their is the whole issue of the pursuit itself. Often we like the hunt but not the capture. People are always trying to be so busy so that we won't have time to think about any bad things, or to avoid thinking about others. I know I have a habit of sleeping when things get too much for me. If I can't deal with something, I sleep, and hopefully won't think on it when I wake up (not that I've dealt with at all)

I'm not sure about all of this, and I don't want to make these sweeping generalizations. But I wonder if God really will prove himself to anyone who is actually looking for the proof. I know He did in my life, and I know He did in the lives of a lot of people I know.

So let's have less of this "I look at a tree and think, God must be real" and remember that nature is not a proof, but a display.

Movies for the weekend...

2005-10-24T00:04:00.000-04:00

These are the movies that entertained me this weekend:

Inventing the Abotts
A sad movie, very easily considered a chick flick. But chick flicks can be good too. Liv Tyler is in it. I think I have a huge crush on her. She's like my ideal actress. Outstanding beautiful, very soft-spoken, sweet and innocent, and also funny. The mother in this movie was by far the strongest character.
As a side note, I screened this movie in Scarborough on the border of Markham. It took forever to get there. Stupid 69 North. Waited about half an hour in the rain for it.

Zoolander
So after hearing great things about this film, I finally watched it. I like Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson movies, so this one was probably gonna be a good one. I was sad to see that Will Ferrel was in it (I'm sure I'm not the only guy on the planet who thinks he's not that funny), BUT I actually thought he was original in this movie, and not just trying to be dumb and 'over-the-top.' Which is odd, becuase this was probably his most 'over-the-top' character ever. But he was unique, and he fit the part. So it was good. The DVD menu is also very good. "Are you ready to press some buttons? And I don't mean in a psychomalogical way! This one is 'Play.' Now I know what your thinking, 'it's a movie, not a play.' [...] Special Features? I think it's my eyebrows!"

Amelie
Alright, so this one is most definitely a chick flick. But WOW. It is one of the most amazing scripts ever. I adored the main character, and all the supporting characters. It was interesting, witty, well-written, funny, well photogrpahed, and all around wonderful. Guys, watch this movie. Ladies love it, and it's alright if you do too.

My Secret Passion...

2005-10-22T00:20:00.000-04:00

More and more I realize I may have a problem. I've got an addiction that can't be curbbed. I love the TTC and everything about it. I think it comes from my fear of Peterborough trasit, that when I came to this city, I was overwhelmed at how amazing urban transit can be.

Some Amazing TTC tidbits:

-Younge subway was Canada's first subway

-Toronto is the only North American city that has not abandonned its streetcars for publiic use.

-The TTC uses the same guage track for streetcars as it does for the subway. This is so they can use streetcars in the subway and can store subway cars on the streetcar track (though this only ever happened once)

-There has only ever been 1 major accident resulting in death on the TTC (aside from suicides)

-There have been countless suicides.

-The Bloor St. Viaduct, built in 1925 was orginally designed without the rail tracks beneath the street. But it's designer insisted that they be included, becuase he saw this bridge as the main connection over the Don Valley (which it is). Years later, when they would build the Bloor/Danforth subway, the rails finally got use, and prooved to be a worthwhile investment (the subway may not have been possible, as rebuilding the viaduct would be out of the question)

-Only one bus route does not connect to a subway station. All the rest do.

-For a period of six months when the Bloor/Danforth subway opened, the trains ran interconnected on the green and yellow line. On the Bloor line, every second train ran downtown via University and back up Younge again. That's where the seemingly useless "next train" signs come from. The connection of course still exists today, and if you travel north from Museum, you can see the tracks that break off and go into Lower Bay station, a now unused subway station.

-The Bloor subway was originally supposed to be on Queen St., but city planners saw development extending north, and decided that Bloor St. would be a better choice.

-Eglinton station is the only station where you can still see the original tiles used on the first subway line.

-There is actually a pattern to the Bloor Subway line colour scheme. Try and guess it! (Hint: Bay is the centre... go outwards from there)

-Toronto is one of the only cities in the world who is still looking into subway building. Many cities now opt for a cheaper Light Rail transit. But as the TTC has stated: "The subway is the spine of a transit network, with Light Rail acting as the ribs."

-Some subway lines we may see in the future:
-Spadina extension to York U and Steeles (this one is deffinite, as they have already drawn up the plans and done the assesment)
-Eglinton West (this one actually started consturction till the Harris Government pulled out. A 'cave' of a station exists beneath Eglinton West station)
-Sheppard extension to the the Scarborough RT and west to Downsview (this one should have been done a while ago)
-Downtown relief line (a much larger U loop going from the Danforth down wround to Union and up again near the other end of the Bloor Line)

Check out Transit Toronto for more tidbits like this.

A little history...

2005-10-20T20:52:00.000-04:00

...because my midterm is tomorrow. (Why is he writing a blog if he should be studying? hmm...)

I watched a terribly depressing film today called Black Robe. Brilliant in its construction, but depressing in its subject matter. Long and short of it, A Jesuit priest goes off into the wildreness with some Algonquins to go to the Huron Mission. The Algonquins leave him stranded but a man and his daughter come back for them, are captured, get tortured, guy dies, preist gets to mission, converts town, town dies.

I was so torn watching the movie, but it was interesting in how it approached the topic of conversion, and how the Jesuit was transformed. He enters the wilderness with a single track mind: these people are savages and I need to convert them to my faith. But as the movie progresses, he comes to love these people who he is with. In the end, he baptizes all of the hurons after a most remarkable montage where we see how much he cares for these people. Sadly, the movie made it out to be a negative thing, but it was one of the most beautiful things I thought. This Jesuit, after having been through so much, truly loved the people he was with. And while the director (an athiest, even anti-theist) trys to film it in such a way that we are to be disgusted and dissappointed with the baptisms of the Hurons, I couldn't help but wonder why? Why was it perceived to be such a terrible thing? If he had forced baptisms, then yes it would be terrible. But he didn't. He loved the people he was with. He believed so strongly in a God that would save them, why would he keep that to himself? The Hurons asked to be baptized, and he was joyful in doing it. There was no 'hostile takeover of the soul.'

The Hurons died. The were killed by the Iroquois. This is how the movie ends (sorry to ruin it). We see a picture of a cross against a sunset, and the text telling us how all the Hurons were killed. If this text had been ommited, it would be a very different movie. But we can't mingle with the facts. Is it upsetting? Yes. I'd like to believe that God raised the Hurons up and made them a great and mighty people who would conquer land and such. It seems like that's what we should expect right? If they're going to be Christians, God better bless them huge.

But again, (and maybe this is what was so depressing to me) I ask myself, why? Why should we expect this for them? Jesus WAS God, and he didn't conquer any land, wasn't a 'great and mighty' person in his day, and died in the most horrible fashion I can imagine (read into the process of crucifixtion if you doubt this).

I don't know the story, but maybe the hurons knew this verse: "To live is Christ, to die is gain." It's been one of those 'background' verses in my life for a while. I liked how sounded, when I would say it out loud. But this film opened it up in a new way for me. It's hard for me to understand, becuase I see the death of the Hurons as a terrible, unfortunate thing. But really, in the Christian scheme of things, death is hardly a negative.

That's my mind for now. I'd love to watch this film again. Maybe I'll get the chance.

Now I really have to study for my midterm.

It's Tired in Here

2005-10-18T20:55:00.000-04:00

First off, the after school program for Urban Promise was a ball tonight. I love those kids SO much. I'm beginning to see some of families more, and getting to know them a little bit, so i'm excited about that. But mostly, I'm excited that the kids shout my name when they see me come to the school now! That makes life as a whole worth it I think.

In other news, I got my footage back for Assignment #2. I had a nice seredipitus effect. I thought my lenses were misalligned (which they were for one shot when I noticed it, and being that I hadn't opened the camera at all, assumed they were misalligned for the extent of my shoot) so I rewound all my film to shoot again (figuring nothing got exposed).

But, as it turns out, my first shoot DID get exposed. So it should look like a mess right?

Not true, as it would seem. For my second shoot, I changed my idea to just 'milk' and did all my shots of mil against a black background. So now I have these images of pouring milk, and dripping milk superimposed perfectly over moving images of swings and slides and merry-go-rounds.

It is actually quite nauseating. Which is great!

Got Milk?

2005-10-16T15:25:00.000-04:00

So assignment #2 is coming along well I'd say. There's a lot of trust when I'm filming, beucase I'm torn between reshooting in case a shot doesn't turn out, and trying to conserve the film itself. Ultimately, there's little reason to reshoot, becuase you could 'assume' you shot it wrong all day (and believe me, I do). It's SO different than video, where you can immediately go back and see what you've done. I have to wait till Wednesday morning to see how my shoot went, and then decide if I need to shoot again or not.

So that's my 'film student' schpiel.

In other news, I'm questioning dropping choir. It seems to be a big inconvenience on my monday evenings, the quality isn't spectacular, and I don't really 'mesh' with the people there (seeing as how they are all seniors mostly). But I like singing. hmm...

Thoughts?

Pitman

2005-10-13T18:08:00.000-04:00

read this: http://www.gravenrecords.blogspot.com/

the one entitled "Where the Fantasy Ends"

Yes I found this on Dave's blog, but brilliant work none the less.

Ironically, a Barenaked Ladies song just came on. A great one too. I remember in grade two, our teacher asked us to name some musicians we liked, and one guy said the Barenaked Ladies, and was repremanded. So I assumed they were some fringe 'punk' or 'grunge' band. Who knew how amazing they were. Listen to Call and Answer. That song is brilliant.

Tomorrow I start filming for my biggest project to date: "Motion Camera Assignment #2." With my vision in place, and my goal clear, I am about to produce what will easily be one of the most thought provoking and nauseating films man has ever seen. I see an academy coming my way, but I will try and act humble when accepting it.

Films I've watched at Ryerson in the past week:

The Mechanical Ballet
An abstract peice which uses a lot of motion, some mirrors, and interesting editing techniques.

A Study in Choreography for Camera
By Maya Deren, an experimental filmmakker in the 1940's, 50's. Some really brilliant transitions in it. Very fluid. As Ms. J would say 'It has nice fluidity.' This was a spur of the moment film, inspired by a guys pitch.

Artificial Changelings
A New Media installation actually, with 4 stages: Close up, direct address, dream/trance, and Time Tunnel. Totally didn't get it, so I won't even try.

Jer. 8: 4-9

2005-10-13T01:07:00.000-04:00

Yes it's in the morning, and yes I have class tomorrow. But this hit me like a tonne of bricks:

"Do people fall down and not get up?
Or take the wrong road and then just keep going?
So why does this people go backwards,
and just kepp on going - backwards!
They stubbornly hold on to their illusions,
refuse to change direction.
I listened carefully
but heard not so much as a whisper.
No one expressed one word of regret.
Not a single "I'm sorry" did I hear.
They just kept at it, blindly and stupidly
banging their heads against a brinck wall.
Cranes know when it's time
to move south for winter.
And robins, warblers, and bluebirds
know when it's time to come back again.
But my people? My people know nothing,
not the first thing of God and his rule."

This is from The Message, which is not a study Bible by any stretch, but I love how Peterson translates this into common english, like I would speak it myself.

What grabbed me was the line, "No one expressed one word of regret, not a single 'I'm sorry' did I hear." It made me realize how little I say sorry for so many things, and how often I say it for others. I go to bed many nights knowing I've missed so many opportunities to just share lives and love people, and be loved, knowing that this is exactly why God got me up that morning. But I realize what an immense task that is (from my current position), and rarely appologize for it, becuase I feel I'm justified becuase of the audacity of the task.

And really, is it THAT audacious? Love people. It doesn't sound like it would be hard, not considering everything there is to gain by doing it. I study becuase I have knowledge to gain, I work becuase I have money to gain, I eat becuase I have energy to gain. And yet I don't love, even though I have people, friends, and relationships to gain. And really, that was MOST important to Christ. He didn't worry about the eating or the working.

I say this, I KNOW this is how I should be, so let's see what happens when I wake up tomorrow.

Oh Rudolph...

2005-10-12T21:03:00.000-04:00

I have to pitch my second film idea tomorrow. "Using a moving camera, make an abstract film that clearly evokes a physical sensation."

Inspired by a recent episode in which my thanksgiving dinner came up the way it went down, I have chosen nausea as my sensation. Here's hoping I'm not the only one who will say hello to his food twice.

In other news, there is only one seat in the lecture hall for Concepts & Theories that gets internet. Two seats to the left of me. Interesting...

Why I might want the internet in lecture? Don't know. In fact, I don't want it, becuase my laptop batter last for 2 hours with wireless turned off and the screen set to it's darkest anyway, and the lecture is 3 hours. How I've been able to make it through ever lecture is somewhat of a miricle. No dead battery yet.

Sorry there was nothing more interesting today

[edit: I wrote the title, then totally didn't explain it. Rudolph Laban was a 'movement theorist' (tell your parents THAT'S what you want to be when you grow up!), and ironically, his theories helpped in conceptualising my idea for my pitch. Shout outs to all the Musical Theatre people...]

Gettin Dziga with it

2005-10-10T18:03:00.000-04:00

Being a university student, more specifically a Bachelor of Fine Arts student, I seem to have a lot of time on my hands. So it was about time I got one of these that I actually use.

Just to explain the title a bit, "Man With a Movie Camera" is a 1929 film done by Dziga Vertov. It was the first film I really appreciated in my program at Ryerson. It's a soviet peice, designed to show the movement of a day in the life of communist Russia. Some people put an electronic soundtrack to it a few years back, and it's quite good.

Some other films I recomend:

-La Jeteé
The movie that inspired Terry Gilliam's "Twelve Monkeys." Made by Chris Marker, who is some sort of 'guru' of film. Ironically, the whole thing is still photography except for one brief moment. That being said, I'm trying desperately to find it somewhere. Let me know if you see it!

-An occurance at Owl Creek Bridge
An old Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode based on a short story by Ambrose Beirce. Not as thrilling as La Jeteé, but a neat twist. I think they are coming out with a feature film of this in a year or two.

- The Fall of the House of Usher (both the 1928 version and the 1960 version)
The first one makes my head spin that they made it without any computer technology for compositing and stuff. The next one makes me laugh, becuase Vincent Price is hilarious in the creepiest way possible. Check out Tim Burton's first animation, Vincent for a better understanding of this guy. It's on the Nightmare Before Christmas DVD, which I'm happy to loan you!